Dr. Kelso Quote #329
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Scrubs
J.D.: [v.o.] But most importantly you cannot let any higher-ups find out that a patient is uninsured. Even if they are the ones who brought her here in the first place.
Maggie: Bob, I wanna thank you for doing all this even though I don't have any-
Turk: Dr. Kelso, we need to talk to you.
Dr. Kelso: What is it?
J.D.: Ah, we wanna go somewhere with you.
Dr. Kelso: Okay. Where?
J.D.: A spa. We'd like to get some massages.
Dr. Kelso: Mmm. Well, I know just the place.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Scrubs’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Nothing ever changes. The artist formerly known as Prince is still just Prince. My ex-wife is still pretty much my wife. Grey's Anatomy always reps up every episode some cheesy voiceover that ties together all of the story lines, which incidentally is my least favorite device on television. Newbie continually will try to violate my no-touching policy. [looks around] Uh-huh. And Republicans will forever try to raise-
J.D.: Sneak hug!
Dr. Cox: Of course, I would go kill him right now but he actually just helped to prove my point.
Nurse Roberts: This is gonna help, too. There are ten orders of Percocet missing from the pharmacy.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea who I'm gonna give my complementary urine test to! [whistles at Mr. Thompson]
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Turkleton, I want you to take good care of my friend Maggie here. Don't worry, we'll take care of you.
Carla: Name and insurance, please?
Maggie: Maggie Kent, and none.
Carla: All right, let's find a room.
J.D.: [v.o.] When a patient doesn't have any insurance you have to work around the system. First you have to find someone who's recently died.
J.D.: Cool! Mr. Rabinowitz just kicked it. [to Maggie] Oh, don't worry. He put his peep in an electrical socket.
You can't do that.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Ted, look at this budget. Oh, God, I have half a mind to make you pay for every cent of that new transformer.
Ted: I'm telling you, sir. A lifeless ghost dog glided in front of my car wearing roller-skates. [pops pill]
Dr. Kelso: If this is your way of trying to make me feel guilty about paving over that Indian burial ground, it isn't going to work. We needed the damn parking spaces.