Janitor Quote #327

Quote from Janitor in His Story IV

Janitor: You know, if you're really serious about helping out, I could use a hand with my to-do list. I need to... clean the toilets. I'm just tired of staring at that. [ticks Palm Pilot] Good-bye. I need to TiVo the Crossing Over with John Edwards. I need to turn a cat into a spice rack. And I need to return this thing to the patient in 307. All doable, don't need you. Thanks!

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 ‘His Story IV’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: Come on, no one wants to debate Iraq with me?
Janitor: I'll debate Iraq with you.
J.D.: Prepare to be dazzled.
Janitor: Okay, in my opinion we should be looking for Bin Laden in Pakistan.
J.D.: Do you have that globe nearby?

Quote from Dr. Kelso

J.D.: [v.o.] Since Elliot bought a house, I had to look for a place to live. Time to get out of my head and into an apartment.
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Kelso. [pats Dr. Kelso on the shoulder]
Dr. Kelso: [v.o.] I actually don't mind that goofy bastard, if he were gay he would be perfect for my son. Harrison's been looking for a new power bottom.

Quote from J.D.

Turk: [on the phone] Hey, buddy. You found an apartment yet?
[J.D. is on a park bench reading "The Iraq War for Dummies"]
J.D.: No, man, I feel like an idiot so I've been reading up on this whole Iraq war situation. You know what's so messed up? I just got to the part where President Bush gave his "mission accomplished" speech on a battleship, and I still got, like, 400 more pages to go.