Dr. Cox: What?
Elliot: I specifically told you not to give Mr. Sandal disopyramide. Why would you change my orders?
Dr. Cox: Well, there were two treatment options, and when in doubt, I always go in the opposite direction of you.
Elliot: Don't do it again.
Dr. Cox: So, do it again? Look, Barbie, what you're missing here is that you're private practice now. That means you're the enemy. And I know, as a doctor, disease is supposed to be the enemy, but I'm giving hepatitis and his band of infectious buddies a pass, and I'm coming after you today. Because the bottom line is you'd rather clock out of here early than run the extra mile for your patients, and, Barbie, that makes you a sell-out.

Carla: Look, all I ever wanted was to be a mother, and now that I am one, I feel like I'm not cut out for it.
Jordan: And you're ashamed of that?
Carla: Well, wouldn't you be?
Jordan: Yeah, I was. What's the worst feeling you've had since you had the baby?
Carla: I don't know.
Jordan: When Jack wouldn't stop crying, I wanted to throw that bastard out the window.
Carla: Really? I wanted to throw Isabella out the window. Yeah, but we just had our apartment repainted, and all the windows were sealed shut, so I just wanted to drop her off the roof.
Turk: [gasps] Oh, my God!
Jordan: Listen, you can't get rid this by sheer force of will or positive thinking or taking advice from a big Hollywood movie star and the dead science fiction writer he worships. You need to get some help.
Turk: That's what I've been try-
Jordan: If you talk again, I'm going to eat you.

Dr. Cox: Well, I gotta tell you, this is heaven.
Janitor: This gourmet trail mix is fantastic. I'm tastin' vanilla, cranberry, a hint of pine.
Dr. Cox: That's potpourri, genius.
Janitor: Is that hickory?