J.D. Quote #1117
Quote from J.D. in My Buddy's Booty
J.D.: [v.o.] Unfortunately, young Keith had become competent so quickly that every word out of his chiseled mouth came tainted with an arrogant smugness that he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried.
Keith: Is there anything else I can do?
J.D.: [v.o.] Right on cue.
J.D.: No, Keith. All I need right now is a sip of your coffee to make me feel warm in my belly.
J.D.: Oh! Keith! Look what you did!
Keith: Here! Dr. Dorian, take my shirt.
J.D.: You think you're better than me? With your rock-hard abs and your dynamite areoles. Well, you're not.
[All the interns gasp]
Jason: Dr. D., what's on your back?
J.D.: Those, Jason, are the panicked scratches of the adolescent raccoon who, until animal control can get into my home, is currently residing in my sock drawer.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Buddy's Booty’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: So, I'm late 'cause Dorian parked his scooter behind my new van. I practically punctured a tire backing over the thing. Kid drives me crazy.
Dr. Cox: A new van, huh?
Janitor: Well, you blew up the old one over a bet. Remember?
Dr. Cox: Right. Dorian drives me crazy too. But what are you going to do about it?
[later, Dr. Cox and the Janitor watch J.D. as he sleeps in his apartment:]
Janitor: I stole this from his locker. I come by here a couple times a week and just move stuff around. Turn off his alarm. Maybe cut his bangs.
Dr. Cox: You're clearly in need of help, but gosh darn it, I'm not gonna give it to ya.
Quote from Janitor
Dr. Cox: [laughing] You're right. But, you know... You know what else I hate about Kelso? His hair smells like a pet store.
Janitor: Oh, actually, that's my fault. I filled his hairspray can with dog sweat.
Dr. Cox: Dogs don't sweat.
Janitor: No?
Dr. Cox: No.
Janitor: What the hell am I putting in there?
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: I'm- I'm actually saving that for someone.
Elderly Woman: That's not allowed.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Say, that's a real nice pantsuit you have there.
Elderly Woman: Oh, well, thank you. It's 40 percent off.
Dr. Cox: Let's say you swing by my place and see if we can't get it 100 percent off?
[The woman walks away in disgust]
Dr. Cox: Had to be done.
Janitor: Thanks, chief. I've got your next one.