Dr. Cox Quote #265

Quote from Dr. Cox in My T.C.W.

Dr. Cox: As much as it may seem like it to me personally, I feel desperately compelled to remind you that we are, in fact, not in prison. And I am just so not your bitch.
Jordan: Watch your language in front of the baby.
Dr. Cox: You're gonna have to trust me on this one. Seeing as you're his mother, he's gonna hear that word early, and he's gonna hear it often. Like non-stop.

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‘My T.C.W.’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: What is with mothers doting on their children? My God. It's like- It's like nobody else exists in the world anymore. But I tell you one thing, and you can damn sure take it to the bank, my mother never paid that much attention to me.
J.D.: It doesn't show.
Dr. Cox: Word to the wise there, Astro. Sarcasm does not sit well with the Big Dog, so consider this a warning. Because the next time I hear you mumble some little passive-aggressive aside, I'm going to look into your heart, pick out your greatest insecurity, and shine the world's brightest spotlight on it for the remainder of natural-born your days. Now, riddle me this, Fido. Just exactly why does every Asian person who's passing us by in the hallway here keep giving you the old stink-eye?

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: OK, Mrs. Brady, we're going to break up your kidney stone with lithotripsy. In the meantime, we're gonna put you on Percocet for the pain.
Mrs. Brady: I can't take painkillers. Justin's still breastfeeding.
Justin: [clicks tongue]
Dr. Cox: Oh, you like milk, do you? Why don't you get on your bike, go to the store and get some?

Quote from Turk

Carla: Is this true?
Turk: [scoffs] Ralphie, I paid you ten dollars.
Carla: This is disgusting.
Turk: Why is it disgusting?
Ralphie: Because it was in my butt.
Turk: Ralphie, I'm dead serious. I want you to shut up. And you shut your mouth right now.
Carla: Would you wear this?
Turk: Baby! I've had this thing steam-cleaned, like, three times. Not only would I wear it, I'll put it in my mouth. [swallows]
Carla: What?
Ralphie: It's fun to eat things.

Dr. Cox Quotes

Quote from My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

Quote from My Life in Four Cameras

J.D.: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta, relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, monkey pox, Pop Rocks, toilet snakes, mad cow, bird flu, swine flu, and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you actually fornicate with the animal it's named for. And as a parting gift, I will tell you this. Narrow it down to two symptoms: vomiting and diarrhea, because it's just not E. coli unless it's firing out both exits.
J.D.: Sure hope I don't have dog flu.

Quote from My Big Mouth

Dr. Cox: You're gonna love this one. Twenty-five-year-old woman, dancer, actually. Well, not anymore. I'm afraid we had to take both of her legs. Bilateral gangrene. And seeing as her husband recently passed away, and her insurance at the dancers' union probably is not going to cover it, you should go ahead and tell her she won't be able to stay here with us for her rehab.
Elliot: Um, what room is she in?
Dr. Cox: There is no room. In fact, in the history of medicine, there's never actually been a patient that depressing. I made her up! Come on, now, Barbie. You keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof and jump the hell off. Mind you, it's only five stories high, so that means you'll just wind up back down here, where I, of course, will be the one who has to treat you. And then I'll be forced to jump off the roof, which, as I was suggesting to you, is only five stories high. And are you starting to see a pattern forming here?