Dr. Kelso Quote #56

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Last Day

Dr. Kelso: So, you want me to approve surgery on a 76-year-old man with no insurance and no life-threatening condition? Young man, I'm curious. What did you think the end result of this conversation would be?
J.D.: Well, pretty much, this. Except I'm really invested, so I thought I might try crying a little.
Dr. Kelso: Sport, if crying worked on me, my wife would have her own car by now.


 ‘My Last Day’ Quotes

Quote from Jordan

Elliot: He doesn't have insurance, so if you could talk to the other members of board today at the meeting, J.D. thought maybe-
Jordan: J.D. thought? First he dumps that patient on you, and now he wants you to ask me a favor? Honey, if you don't start saying no to him soon, you're gonna wind up on the losing end of a little game I like to call Hide The Pickle.
Elliot: Oh, J.D. and I are just colleagues.
Jordan: Oh, my God. I was just joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?
Elliot: [scoffs] A little.
Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about. Sex is for making babies and revenge.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Oh, you're so full of it.
Jordan: Listen, stick, if you wanna wipe your nose and pretend that was a sneeze, I will play along. But if you have something to say, say it.
Elliot: Everybody knows you're sleeping with Dr. Cox, and it can't be about making babies, because you'd probably just end up eating them anyway. And as for revenge, I'm just not sure that driving to his apartment and pleasuring him while he watches SportsCenter's hurting him as much as you think. So I have to figure you still care about him whether you admit it or not. And if you lay one finger on me, I'm blowing my rape whistle. [blows whistle]
Todd: [elevator opens] Kiss her.

Quote from Jordan

J.D.: Oh, Ms. Sullivan, thank you for helping us with Mr. Bober.
Jordan: Oh, don't mention it. And even though I wasn't invited to your little party, I brought presents for everyone.
Dr. Cox: Brace yourself there, Newbie.
Jordan: Carla, my ex-husband is in love with you. It's true. Ask your boyfriend. He knows. He and Perry talk about it all the time. I don't know why you haven't mentioned this to her. Perhaps you're afraid of something. Huh. And, Bob, when are you gonna tell Perry that that promotion you're making him jump through hoops for was filled months ago? It just seems wrong. Which brings us to Twinkie. If you don't have the courage to tell your "colleague" Dr. Dorian that you're still crazy about him, I'm gonna do it for you, 'cause that's what friends do. Yeah. And finally, Perry, you are not gonna believe what happened the first time I met your little protege here.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, please, God, no.
Jordan: I slept with him, and it was good. Oh, how's that for stirring things up? Have a great summer, everyone. Bye.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yup. One big happy family.