Dr. Cox: I found this cheat sheet in the unisex bathroom just outside this hall, so either we have a Matt Damon-type custodian with an extensive knowledge of the central nervous system, or one of you cheated. And since just last week, I saw one of our fine janitors eat a piece of chalk, I'm guessing the latter. He's the deal. You're all going to be locked in this room till one of you comes forward and takes responsibility.

Denise: I hope you all think long and hard about what you've done.
Dr. Cox: Oh, no, no, no, no. Butch, this happened on your watch. You're not going anywhere.
Denise: Would it make any difference If I told you I have a personal issue that makes staying in here really horrible for me?
Dr. Cox: It would make me quite a bit happier.

Lucy: Dr. Cox has to let us out eventually. I mean, he can't keep us here forever. Can he?
[fantasy: Lucy and the gang are now 75 years old, but Cole looks as young as ever:]
Lucy: What's your secret?
Cole: Shea butter and big floppy sun hats. Oh, and I made a deal with a witch.
[reality:]
Lucy: How come witches never offer me a deal? I'm approachable.

Denise: Drew, come on. Just admit you cheated. It's okay. You didn't have time to study. You were out in a meadow pressing wildflowers and writing love sonnets.
Drew: Yes, me telling you I love you makes me a 19th-century dandy.

Drew: We have to stop turning on each other. Especially since it's so obvious that Cole's the one who cheated.
Lucy: I'm sure Cole has some great explanation. Cole, what were you doing in the bathroom?
Cole: Doing my test prep. Okay, part one: dropping a D. Part two: using the mnemonic skills I picked up at A.D.
D. Camp. Okay, I remember the circulatory system by singing nickelback.
[flashback to Cole singing into a mirror while holding an empty toilet roll:]
Cole: This is how I remind me of blood cells and their jobs Lymphocytes and "t" cells Crushing cancer on every level
[present:]
Drew: Wow. That makes a kind of horrible sense.

Dr. Cox: How'd that go for you? Awkward or, uh, really awkward?
Turk: Neither. ... Super awkward. Look, Nicole's colitis is pretty advanced and surgery is too risky due to her diabetes and thrombocytopenia.
Dr. Cox: Well, just treat it with steroids then.
Turk: She must be in a lot of pain. I wonder why she didn't tell me.
Dr. Cox: Maybe she did, but you didn't hear her because you were fantasizing about being stranded on lesbian island.
Todd: Is that a real place? Because I can leave tonight. What?
Dr. Cox: We're just hard-staring you away.
Todd: Oh. [gasps, backs away]

Denise: I hope it was Drew. And I hope he gets his butt thrown out of here.
Lucy: What did he do to you? [whispers] Did he smack you around?
Denise: Worse. He told me he loved me. Who does that? Don't you see? He's trying to get me to trust him so then he can just let me down.
Lucy: Crazy idea: you could just say "I love you" back.
Denise: Yeah, but then if it doesn't work out, I'll have to kill him, go to jail, escape, come back and kill you for giving me that advice.
Lucy: I love how our friendship is based predominately on threats.

Cole: Dude, you never told us why you were in the bathroom.
Drew: I was in the bathroom taking a leak.
Trang: Didn't you stop using public toilets after you lived in a gas station bathroom for a month?
Cole: That's right. It was your fun fact at orientation. Maya's fact was she's colorblind, and Trang absorbed his twin sister in the womb. That's why he's so smart. My boy's got two brains.
Drew: That's not how it works, genius.

Drew: Okay, yes, I have a wife. Let's start there. It was a drunken mistake. I've been trying to get out of it ever since.
Denise: What else haven't you told me? I mean, do you have any kids? Have you robbed a bank? Were you in a cult?
Drew: [laughs] No, no, and I wouldn't call it a cult. It was more like a marketing opportunity that ended with us all living on a compound.

Denise: I just feel like I've finally found someone I can trust, and then he goes and does this. I mean, what am I supposed to do now?
Turk: Look at those two right there.
Denise: I hear ya. Everyone thinks I'm a little butch anyway. I mean, I might as well dive in.
Turk: [laughs] No. Denise, no. Uh, Nicole is one of my patients, and she was willing to risk death to keep her past from her partner. I just learned that word, by the way, "partner."
Denise: I'm proud of you.
Turk: Sometimes when you really care about someone, you want them to know you just as you are right now, the best version of yourself. You really gonna blame Drew for that?