Lucy: All right, I am so excited to see what we've all written about Ben. Pass 'em up. Really? Nothing? Ah. Thank you, Drew. This is a receipt for a pair of pants.
Drew: Yeah, well, I didn't want to leave you hanging, and I'm gonna need that back. I'm probably gonna return those pants. They were skinny jeans, and I couldn't pull 'em off. Literally took me like an hour to pull 'em off.

Lucy: They think they're so badass just 'cause Ron had a vestigial tail and spinal meningitis. Ben could have had that tail. He's just not a show-off like Ron.

Turk: So you want to be a surgeon, huh? Well, then you need to understand that it's not about glamour or money or even making a great mix CD for the O.R. Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh, I get it Like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.
Turk: Sometimes you have to stand totally still and stay completely lasered in, even if it means just holding this clamp, because this clamp right here, this clamp could keep someone alive. That's what you're gonna practice right now. You think you can handle it?
Cole: I'll stay here as long as it takes. I'll even cancel my 5:30 at the tanning salon.
Turk: Cole, you had skin cancer, like, yesterday! Just hold the damn clamp.

Lucy: [v.o.] I was really excited, because i'd done a bunch of research about Ben's life, and I couldn't wait to share it with the group.
Lucy: Cole, did you know Ben was president of the Association for Independent Dry Cleaners for the Midatlantic Region from 1973 to 1976?

Lucy: Okay, now I know you're not excited about Ben, but would it change things at all if I told you that he had a time-share in Myrtle Beach?
Drew: Wow! So he got to spend two weeks a year, one of them off-peak, in South Carolina's third most popular vacation destination? Ho, ho! Game-changer.

Denise: Yeah, I'm just gonna keep this on your bed for a while, since we always sleep in mine anyway. And until they fix the hole, I figured this area could kind of be like a den/hangout/place where we have dirty sex on top of my hockey equipment.
Drew: Oh, honey, Lucy's here.
Denise: Oh, I'm sorry. I should clarify. The sex is actually pretty vanilla. It's the hockey equipment that's dirty.

Drew: I don't like this at all. I like things clean and simple. Everything I own is in that box.
Lucy: A hat, some ramen and a car battery? Don't you have personal things?
Drew: I've had that car battery a long time.

Cole: I've proved myself, right? So let's go open a brother up!
Turk: First of all, why it gotta be a brother?
[later:]
Turk: And second of all, a surgeon has to have a delicate touch and steady hand. Now I want you to take these tweezers and remove the fortune from this cookie without breaking it.
Cole: I can do that. Check out these brows. I know my way around a pair of tweezies.
Turk: Is it bright? Is it too bright? Lots of distractions in surgery. Blood everywhere, ooh! And out of nowhere, there could come a noise to just break your concentration!? A drum line in the O.R.! What?
Cole: Done. Somebody snare me.

Lucy: Hi. I'm Lucy Bennett. We worked with your father in our Anatomy class, and, um, I'm sort of in charge of our group's tribute to him. And I just want to know if there's anything you wanted us to include.
Lucy: [v.o.] That you never consider they might not feel the same way.
Eric: Well, how about that he was a miserable, horrible dad who pretty much ruined my childhood, and I'm only here to see him put in the ground?
Lucy: I guess I could work that in.

Lucy: [v.o.] Over the next 20 minutes, Eric regaled me with horrible stories about Ben.
Eric: He was never around when I was a kid. He cheated on my mom. He didn't call me for 20 years.
Lucy: Okay, but you gotta admit he was an excellent bowler. I found a photo from when he rolled that perfect game on June 16, 1976.
Eric: So that's where he was on my 7th birthday.
Lucy: Oh, balls.