Dr. Cox: Oh, Gandhu, step away from the pizza pastry, would you please?
Turk: Yeah, but the chemicals taste better when it's hot, so...
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. I've come to clear up a point of confusion. [points to Drew] This is what a protégé should look like. It is an empty vessel that I'm filling with knowledge.
Drew: I also get to hold stuff.

Turk: Cole didn't have what it takes, all right? We surgeons are an elite crew.
Dr. Cox: Really? Say, Todd, do me a favor. Would you tell me what that wonderful new invention is you've been working on?
Todd: It's a series of erotic novelty wines. Chardonn-gay, sauvignon donk, teeny-weeny peeny grigio. Patent pending five. [high-fives Turk] Drink up, boys.

Turk: Come on. He wasn't even serious about it. I bet he's already moved on.
Drew: Actually, he hasn't. He's still practicing.
[flashback to Lucy and Drew arriving at her dorm room to find Cole has cut open her horse plushes:]
Lucy: [gasps]
Cole: I can fix it.
[present:]
Drew: And the worst part is, I had to stay in that room for 17 horse funerals.

Drew: Dr. Cox, can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: Yes?
Drew: When you're in love, h-how do you set aside your fears so that you can just dive in and follow your heart?
Dr. Cox: Oh, dear God, Drew. Not you. It's happening again. It's happening again.

Lucy: [v.o.] They say that by the end of your first semester in med school, it's already obvious what kind of doctor you'll end up being.
Dr. Cox: Him.
Turk: Who Trang?
Dr. Cox: Yep.
Turk: Oh, man. Small hands, great with the ladies, Ob-Gyn.
Dr. Cox: No, more like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.

Turk: Man, you're so lucky to have someone like drew. I wish I could find a stud-wannabe surgeon to take under my wing. I've been making a play for this guy right here Clint, but he's too cool and aloof.
Clint: See you in class, Dr. Turk.
Turk: Not if I see you first! Ha! We gonna kick it! He's gonna think I'm lame.
Dr. Cox: You are lame.

Denise: Hey, should we get married today?
Drew: What?
Denise: We've been dating for four months. I mean, it's pretty good, right? Let's stop screwing around and just get it over with. Who cares?
Drew: Okay, obviously your diet of power bars and boxed wine has scrambled your brain. We got a great thing going here, you know? Why mess with it?
Denise: Yeah, you're probably right. It was just an idea.
Drew: Okay.
Denise: Let's make a baby instead. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm on my birth control... I think. Yeah. Uh...

Lucy: Guys, just do me a favor, okay? Come up with one thing that's important to you about Ben. That's it. It could be a poem or a lightly choreographed dance number. Don't be afraid to go modern. I think Ben would appreciate it. Fine. Or you could just bring some pretzels or something.

Turk: Well, Cole, everything looks great two weeks out, the wound's healed. Test results came back clean. Your cancer's gone.
Cole: That is so crazy. You know, I-I've always known that a surgeon might hook me up with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life.
Turk: I'm not gonna lie. Surgeons are pretty awesome.
Cole: Hey, Dr. T., do you believe in fate? You know, like, the stuff they talk about during the boring parts of Lost? Well, I was thinking that maybe I got cancer for a reason. Like like somebody up there is telling me that I'm supposed to be a surgeon!

Turk: Oh, Cole, you don't want to be a surgeon.
Dr. Cox: Now just a second there, Gandhi. You've been looking for a protégé, and the good lord answered your prayers.
Cole: Oh, Dr. T., I would kill to be your protégé!
Turk: You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole. Okay? It's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a waterslide!
Dr. Cox: Dr. Turk is right. You'd you'd hate it. All the blood and guts. It's like an amazing horror movie.
Cole: I love horror movies!
Dr. Cox: Well, sure, but you'd have to wear a mask like a ninja, and who wants to do that?
Cole: Last Halloween I was a slutty ninja. Oh, this is gonna be awesome! I'm more sure about wanting to be a surgeon than I've ever been about anything ever. Okay. I gotta go update my Facebook status. But then I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna start shadowing you, and I'm never gonna leave your side.