‘My Waste of Time’
Season 7, Episode 10 - Aired May 1, 2008
Elliot and J.D. spend time together as she tries to find an old patient who may have had an adverse effect from a drug. As Dr. Cox settles into his new role as Chief of Medicine, baby Jennifer has minor surgery. When the Janitor helps Ted become more assertive, it leads to a splintering of the Brain Trust. Meanwhile, Carla and Turk discuss having a second baby.
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] Times were changing. Dr. Kelso had quit, so the board had made Dr. Cox the interim chief of medicine.
Dr. Cox: I don't want everybody making a big deal out of this. I'm certainly not going to.
Carla: Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Chief Dr. Cox.
Carla: Right. The board wants to know when you're coming to the budget meeting.
Dr. Cox: Tell them I will be right down.
Carla: He's on his way. [hangs up] You're not going, are you?
Dr. Cox: Not now, not ever.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Elliot: How exciting is it that you run this place now? I'm so proud of you. It's like a whole new day has dawned.
Dr. Cox: Do me a big favor there, Barbo. Get that prescription filled for me.
Elliot: "One chill pill."
Dr. Cox: That's for you. Unlimited refills.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Hey, chief? I need your approval on the settlement letter from the drug company that makes Plomox.
Turns out if diabetics take it, it can cause hypertension or even death.
Turk: Diabetics can die from what?
Carla: From not doing the laundry this morning the way they promised to.
Turk: Baby, I ain't never promised to do the laundry. I promised I'd try to get to it. And I wasn't able to.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: You know what? I don't have time for all this Plomox crap. My daughter's having her shunt removed. Granted, not a life-threatening procedure, but still, I have to be there to hold Jordan's claw. And besides, this stuff happened on Bob's watch. I'm quite certain he'd want to take care of it. Would you please give him a call?
[When Carla phones Dr. Kelso, he just laughs]
Carla: He wasn't receptive.
Quote from J.D.
Turk: Anyway, Carla wants me to get it, so now I have to pick out a prosthetic.
[fantasy: J.D. and Turk shop at a big box store:]
Cashier: Hello, and welcome to Ball Mart.
J.D.: Oh, Turk, look at all the different styles. This one has a diamond stud in it. And and this one says "I'm with stupid" and has an arrow pointing to the real one.
Turk: This one has a thermostat and doubles as a hand warmer.
J.D.: You know, that would be perfect for next weekend's ice fishing trip.
[later, J.D., Dr. Cox and the Todd are shivering in a cabin]
J.D.: I can't believe we all fell through that hole in the ice.
Dr. Cox: If we don't warm up soon, we're all going to die. Hey, why aren't you cold?
Turk: [hands down his pants] All right. Come on.
[later, Dr. Cox, the Todd and J.D. bask in the glow of a naked Turk's nether regions:]
Dr. Cox: All right. Now, nobody makes eye contact.
Todd: This is heaven.
Turk: Careful, y'all. That bad boy runs hot.
J.D.: [with a ball-shaped burn on his face] You're telling me.
[later, J.D., Turk and Dr. Cox return to the hospital:]
Carla: Hey, guys. How was fishing?
J.D.: It was all right.
Todd: [covered in ball burns] Best trip ever! Ice fishing five!
[reality:]
Turk: Hey, you're going to be late for your shift.
J.D.: I got to stop with the long fantasies. They're never worth it.
Quote from Jordan
Jordan: All right, kid, I expect updates on my daughter every 15 minutes. Or what, Perry?
Dr. Cox: You will be let go.
Jordan: I love that you're the boss now. Honest to god, it almost makes you seem attractive.
Quote from Ted
Dr. Cox: How in the hell did Kelso deal with all this paperwork? What do you want, Ted?
Ted: Now that you're Chief, i'm your number two. I think you'll find me more than qualified. I'm hardworking, reliable, and I recently figured out how to open up my briefcase.
Dr. Cox: Congrats. Take a look at that for me, and grab me a cup of coffee.
Ted: No sweat. [struggles to open briefcase] Oh, I just had it.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Chief Dr. Cox.
Elliot: Hey, your initials are C.D.C. That was my nickname in my sorority. "Crying drunk chick".
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: I just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with your daughter.
Jordan: Can you make him stop talking?
Dr. Cox: I've tried for seven years. It can't be done.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: My point is, you could be a whole new Ted. Now, come on. Turn around. Chest out. Stand tall. Chin up. Blink your eyes real fast. Just kidding. That was for me. Give me that. [spills Ted's coffee]
Ted: Don't you have to clean that up?
Janitor: Not on Tuesdays. I want you to get in there and tell Dr. Cox what's what.