Dr. Cox: Spill.
J.D.: Dr. Cox had nothing to do with me going to see your scary friends. I did it all on my own.
Jordan: I love how adult our relationship is.
Dr. Cox: Fine. You want some straight shootin'? I'm glad that you're dealing with Ben's death so well. The fact is I'm strugglin'. And having those two harpies nesting in our home is not helping. For the life of me, Jordan, I cannot figure out why they're still here. It is beyond me.
[Dr. Cox walks away leaving a tearful Jordan with J.D.]
J.D.: You okay?
Jordan: Why don't you grow a pair, Sally!
J.D.: Oh, oka- That's going in the box. Girl's names are out. That's why we have a box.

Elliot: I hate to quote my mother, but Dr. Miller is so uptight she could use a pitcher of martinis and an afternoon on top of a smooth-chested pool-boy.
Turk: I knew you'd hate her.
Elliot: I love her! Turk, do you know what I would give to have a female attending like her pushing me not to let the fact that I'm a woman hold me back? I mean, you have no idea how hard it is.
Turk: I have no idea?
Elliot: Look, I'm not gonna fight about whether in medicine it's harder being black or a woman.
Turk: Black!
Elliot: Woman!
Turk: Much prop, Dr. Rhodes.
Elliot: Mm.
Turk: Go get 'em.
Elliot: Turk, let me ask you one question. Gun to your head, who do you think make better doctors, men or women?

Carla: No, Todd. The term "melons" is just as bad as "sweater meat."
Todd: Well then I am thoroughly confused.

Dr. Cox: My point is that in this tight-ass PC culture, it is damn hard to know what's kosher.
Carla: Well, then you should try stepping into our shoes. Even the strongest women walk around with this thick coat of armor all day long, because God forbid we should show the slightest sign of weakness. So just squeeze those smelly, oversized feet into the shoes of someone you really care about. And trust me, in a heartbeat you will know the right thing to do.
J.D.: [v.o.] At that moment, Dr. Cox knew why Jordan's friends were still around.

Jordan: Oh, would you turn off the lights? The baby doesn't know I'm here. Doesn't matter. He likes the nanny better than me anyway.
Dr. Cox: Me too. Hey, are your friends still in town because I've been wallowing in self pity and you need somebody to take care of you?
Jordan: I miss Ben.
Dr. Cox: Me too. God, me too.

Turk: You want me to help you move that table? Not that you can't move it.
Dr. Miller: What do you want, Dr. Turk?
Turk: I was just thinking about, you know, what you were saying when I said that thing, and-
Dr. Miller: Just say it.
Turk: I'm sorry.
Dr. Miller: Scrub up.
Turk: So we're cool?
Dr. Miller: -Ish. But you're a decent surgeon, and uh, I'm not one to be petty. So why don't we put on a little music?
Turk: Yes. Why don't we.
[female MOR plays]

Maddie: We were going to go to the gym, but I could just as easily throw up instead. Or you could just give us a work-out right here.
J.D.: Uh, I guess I could hang for a smidge.
Maddie: Good. 'Cause we've got something to tell you. Right, Allie?
Allison: How dare you tell us to leave our best friend's house because you want to kiss Perry's ass.
[fantasy: the two ladies are vampires who feast on J.D.'s neck:]
J.D.: You know, ladies, I'm not usually into the rough stuff, but... Oooooh.
[reality:]
J.D.: You shall not feast on me!

Turk: Agility exercises?
Todd: No. I'm air-fondling Dr. Miller's boobies. Who's with me?
Todd: No?
Turk: Eh. Why don't you lay off Dr. Miller? And don't say "I'd like to lay on Dr. Miller."
Todd: High-five later for reading my mind!
Turk: Even though you're washing your hands with your gloves already on.
Todd: Dammit!