‘My T.C.W.’
Season 2, Episode 18 - Aired March 20, 2003
J.D. starts seeing a woman whose husband is in a coma in the hospital. Meanwhile, Elliot and Paul, Turk and Carla, and Dr. Cox and Jordan all experience problems in their relationships.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Oh, ho, ho, ho, Scooby. A married woman whose husband is still in a coma? Woo-hoo. Can't tell you how many happy couples I know who got started just that way.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] You'll figure out what to do. For God's sakes, you're The Boat.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Five letters. "Showing vulnerability." "A blank in one's armor."
J.D.: Chink.
Janitor: What?
J.D.: Chink! Oh, no, no. No, Franklyn, we were- We were doing a crossword puzzle and-
Franklyn: I always suspected.
Janitor: We all did.
J.D.: Franklyn, no.
Janitor: Wow. Tough break.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: It's just been hard for me lately. I don't really have anyone special in my life. I'm pretty much either here or at home doing nothing.
[fantasy:]
Man: Yeah, that's rough. I'm in a coma! I've had an itch on my foot for the last eight months.
[reality: J.D. is itching coma guy's foot:]
Elliot: What are you doing?
J.D.: Nothing. It's a new therapy.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Son, a hospital staff is like a melting pot. We all need to respect each other. Now, if you think that a specific ethnic group is loud, lazy or sneaky...
J.D.: Or incredibly closed-minded and inappropriate.
Dr. Kelso: Exactly! Just keep it to yourself, dammit!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [to Ralphie] Wait. Make me proud.
Ralphie: [vomits]
Dr. Kelso: [o.s.] Good God.
Quote from J.D.
Jamie: Thank you so much for dinner.
J.D.: You're welcome.
Jamie: But what was the deal with tipping $20 on a $30 bill?
J.D.: Ah, nothing. I just- I love Chinese food. And the Asian people.
Quote from J.D.
Jamie: So, it's cold outside. You wanna come back to my place?
J.D.: I think you might be moving a little fast for yourself. And there's a part of me that's very angry I just said that.
Jamie: I'm so sick of being alone, you know?
J.D.: Tell you what, look me in the eyes and tell me that you're ready to start something right now, we won't even need a cab. I will throw you over my shoulder and just sprint the 12 miles to your house. But...
Jamie: I'll call you sometime.
J.D.: I hope you do.
Jamie: Bye.