‘My Soul on Fire: Part 2’
Season 8, Episode 15 - Aired April 15, 2009
On the day of the Janitor and Lady's wedding, there's trouble in paradise for J.D. and Elliot, Turk and Carla, and Dr. Cox and Jordan.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Jordan: So you just wasted a whole vacation day pretending to work just to mess with me?
Dr. Cox: I recall you saying that you were happy I couldn't spend time with you.
Jordan: You knew I wasn't serious. That's how we interact. That's our thing.
Dr. Cox: You know what? I'm sick of pretending we don't like each other, it is distinctly not fun anymore. Would you like to know why? Because A, we are over 12. And B, we actually do like each other. In fact, brace yourself, we love each other.
Quote from Turk
Turk: I can't believe you left me out there yesterday. I was in the ocean for so long I had jellyfish stings on my ding-a-ling.
Quote from Turk
Carla: I had to make sure Izzy fell asleep.
Turk: Why do you have to be a mommy all the time?
Carla: I still make sure you get sex at least once a week.
Turk: Yeah, but you always start with "This has to be quickie". Why do you always say that? Baby, we both know my "longies" aren't that long. I gotta be honest with you, sometimes it makes me feel like you don't love me.
Carla: On behalf of all women, I just want to thank you for equating sex with love. We think it's awesome when you do that.
Turk: You're welcome.
Quote from Doug
[As the Janitor phones from the Bahamas, Doug is in a drawer in the morgue]
Doug: Hey, dude.
Janitor: I guess you're pretty bummed about the wedding mix-up, huh?
Doug: No, man. I got a lot going on here. So what's it like there? Is it awesome?
Janitor: It's pretty awesome.
Doug: Yeah, I thought it would be.
Janitor: You know what, pal? I'm gonna stay on this phone with you until- I gotta go.
Doug: Carol, close me up.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: You already know I love you. I shouldn't have to make some crazy gesture. I'm not a big fan of those.
Elliot: You went online for three hours and spent a fortune getting a tiki for Turk.
J.D.: Elliot, I don't really think $456 for an actual faux marble imitation tiki is a fortune.
Elliot: Was that total or each?
J.D.: That's irrelevant.
Quote from Carla
Carla: And do you want to know why I'm a mommy all the time?
Turk: Please.
Carla: It's because I am a mommy. All the time. I have a baby at home. I have one in here. And I have another one, who expects me to work, raise his kids, buy his clothes, make his food, run his life and still have all the energy in the world left to sex him up every night. Even though his longies are actually pretty damn long.
Turk: I know, right?
Quote from Jordan
Jordan: You obviously know how I feel about you. Why are you trying to change me? This, that works for us. Remember when my dog died and you told me he went to doggy hell? And then you said my mom was gonna go to doggy hell too when she died.
Dr. Cox: Because of her dog face.
Jordan: Right. I wanted to do you right there in the vet's office. Why are you trying to change our dynamic? I don't want to.
Dr. Cox: Suit yourself. Just leave me alone.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Payback time. Let's go.
J.D.: But I- Really?
J.D.: Let's go.
Lady: Bye boys!
J.D.: You're okay with this?
Janitor: I gotta let my man be my man.
Quote from Ted
Dr. Kelso: Good morning, Gary. One Bahama Mama, please. And if you could, the electric razor from my bag. Thanks. For god's sake, Ted, get some sun.
Ted: I've not sunscreened up yet.
Dr. Kelso: Live a little.
[Ted steps out from the bar and basks in the sun's rays]
Ted: It's warmer than I thought.
[Ted turns back after ten seconds, completely sunburt]
Ted: Damn you, Mother Earth! Damn you! [Kelso shaves off Ted's flaking skin with his razor] Why?!
Quote from Jordan
Lady: I just wanna look great for my honey bunny. That's my nickname for him. He also loves it cause it's his favorite sandwich. I feel like I finally found the perfect man, you know?
Jordan: Oh, please. There's no such thing. Look at Perry. He pretends he's cold and emotionless, but underneath he's a sweet guy who wants to talk about our relationship all the time.
Carla: Face it. Men are just gassy, selfish, sex-crazed egomaniacs who were put on this earth to make your life miserable, that's it.
Lady: I'm getting married in, like, ten minutes.
Jordan: Ah, you'll live.