J.D.: [v.o.] What did you do? All right, don't panic. Maybe she didn't enjoy it. Oh, come on, who're you kidding?

Elliot: I don't get it. Why are so many patients switching off on me? Are my hands that cold? You didn't tell anyone I'm Republican did you?
J.D.: No.
Elliot: God, this can't be happening. I'm a doctor. What the hell use is being a doctor if nobody lets you treat them? What is going on with my life?

J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, this is not the time to talk it out. Get out of the situation without making her suspicious.
J.D.: [answers phone] Hello? Hi, Mom. Yeah, I miss you too. I haven't spoken to you in so long. [Elliot leaves] Hi, Mr. Turk. No, Chris isn't here. No, no, sir. I didn't say "Mom." I said, "mon" like, "Hey, mon, we be jamming." No, sir, I don't think all black people are Jamaican. [Elliot returns] I love you too, Mommy. Sir, could you call back later? Chris will be home.

Janitor: Yeah, there's been some break-ins. I had to change the locks on these lockers. You should've gotten your new combination in the mail.
J.D.: Well, I didn't. Do you know what it is?
Janitor: Yeah.
J.D.: But you're not gonna tell me, are you?
Janitor: Can't. Janitor-locker confidentiality.

J.D.: [v.o.] Carla has to give Mr. Woodbury the bad news.
Carla: How bad could it be?
J.D.: [v.o.] I wonder how he'll take it.
[fantasy:]
Mr. Woodbury: Here she is. Take her! Out the window! Throw her out the window!

Carla: Here goes.
J.D.: Hey, Mr. Woodbury's doing well enough to be discharged. I don't mind standing up to Kelso on this one. Time to take the "GR" off my "gratitude" and give him some attitude, J.D. style.
Carla: His office is that way.
J.D.: I know. I have to go throw up first.

Elliot: What the hell, Turk?
Dr. Cox: Oh, good, Barbie. Now really access the anger.
Elliot: How could you do that to me?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, honestly, how could you?
Turk: Okay, I just wanted to protect you, give you a little break.
Dr. Cox: The old "I'm trying to help you" gambit. Barbie, see through that. Yo kick him! Yo kick him right now!