J.D.: [v.o.] I'm running a little late this morning, but that's okay because I've been working with Dr. Casey the last few weeks. You see, he has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and he likes to start each day the same way...
Dr. Casey: Bink. Bink.
J.D.: [v.o.] Bink by touching everything in his first patient's room.
Dr. Casey: Bink, bink bink, bink, bink bink Bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink.
Dr. Kelso: Good morning, doctors.
J.D.: [v.o.] He touches everything.
Dr. Casey: [touching Kelso's nose] Bink.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, okay. I suppose that's how they say good morning in Cuckoo Town.
Dr. Casey: Pretty much. Bink.

J.D.: And get this, he calls it his "epiphany toilet".
Elliot: Yeah, you couldn't pay me to poop on the roof.
Turk: No one's offering.

J.D.: You're like Dr. Casey. I think he said using that toilet would be like his Everest.
[flashback:]
Dr. Casey: Using that toilet would be my Everest. [they hold hands]
[present:]
J.D.: Yep, that's what he said.

Carla: [quietly] Ask him.
Turk: [quietly] Why?
Carla: [normally] J.D., Turk wants to ask you something, and it would mean a lot to the both of us if you said yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, my God! Would I have a threesome with Turk and Carla? Well, it's certainly flattering, and I don't think they'd tell anyone.
Turk: Will you be my best man?
J.D.: Oh.
Turk: Huh?
J.D.: I mean, yeah! Of course!

Elliot: So is this, like, the best moment you guys have ever had?
[flashback to J.D. making a bowl of cereal:]
J.D.: A decoder ring. Heh. Turk!
Turk: What?
J.D.: It finally happened.
Turk: A double-prizer?
[J.D. and Turk celebrate]
[present:]
J.D.: That was awesome.
Carla: You guys realize you're doctors, right?
J.D.: Double secret decoder ring-wearing doctors.
Both: Activate.
J.D.: Form of an ice menorah!

J.D.: [v.o.] The reason I'm gurney surfing - aside from the fact that it's totally bitchin is that Kelso shut down this whole wing.
Turk: Dude, I gotta go.
J.D.: Oh, no! [crashes] Oh!
J.D.: [v.o.] You see, a census said that hospital admissions dropped in February. The census was wrong.
Carla: Dr. Kelso! Where are we gonna fit these people? They're all sick!
Dr. Kelso: It's not my job to take care of sick people.
Dr. Cox: "Bob Kelso - Healer".
Dr. Kelso: Closing that wing saves us about sixty thousand dollars a month. You got that on you?

J.D.: [v.o.] It's weird how much Dr. Casey has influenced me in such a short time.
J.D.: Bink!
Nurse Roberts: Hey! Bink you!

Elliot: What's he doing?
Turk: He's writing Dr. Casey a thank-you card.
Todd: I could use a little help here.
Turk: Todd, surgeon is spelled "-g-e-o-n"? And, uh, there are two Ds in "Todd".

Dr. Cox: [whistles] I'm sorry, does [whistles] mean stare at me like jackasses or does it mean get the hell over here?

Dr. Cox: Newbie, it turns out I, uh, I do have some best man advice. Go easy on the mascara in case you cry during your toast. And if you're gonna chase after the bouquet with all of the other girls, make sure you kick off your pumps so you don't snap one of those chicken ankles of yours.
J.D.: Thanks. Thanks for coming back.