‘My Philosophy’
Season 2, Episode 13 - Aired January 16, 2003
J.D. and Dr. Cox treat a frequent patient, Elaine, who's stuck on the waiting list for a heart transplant. Elliot complains about the unisex changing rooms. Meanwhile, Turk decides to pop the question to Carla.
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: Oh, you girls. Excuse me, Elaine. I actually need his opinion on something.
[cut to:]
J.D.: I'd say she's pregnant.
Dr. Cox: Just a terrific catch there, Newbie.
Quote from Turk
Turk: Ralphie, spit it out. Spit it out. Come on. Dude, why eat medical supplies when you've got pudding and tater tots? It makes no sense.
J.D.: Hey. Get the ring back?
Turk: Did I get the ring back? Dude, I'm back. OK? It's all set up. She's going out of town for a week. Somebody's covering for me tonight. I'm gonna take her to a restaurant- No, open your- You're killing me, Ralphie. You are killing- No, you did not just swallow that thing!
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, I am through taking my clothes off in front of men.
Dr. Kelso: I think I can speak for all of us when I say, "We'll live."
Elliot: Every woman here hates the fact they've got to get undressed in a co-ed locker room. Except for Naked Nancy, but, I mean, she's an exhibitionist and she has a whole other set of problems.
Ted: We have a co-ed locker room? Hot damn!
Quote from Ted
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, if you really feel the need to discuss it, write it on a piece of paper and slip it in my suggestion box.
Elliot: Really?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah. Ted, show it to her.
Ted: [lifts trash can] Sorry.
Elliot: It's OK.
Ted: So, this locker room, do you have to be a doctor to change in there, or what?
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: So here's the deal, Mrs. Larkin. You have a valvular defect in your heart.
Mr. Larkin: Oh, God!
Mrs. Larkin: Relax, Steve. He's a worrier.
J.D.: Me, too. I'm a worrier.
Quote from Ted
Dr. Kelso: Once I knock down this wall right here, I am going to have more room than I know what to do with.
Ted: Sir, I'm so happy for you I could crack.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] Ultimately, you grit your teeth and just say it.
Dr. Cox: If we don't deliver the baby, your wife could die.
J.D.: [v.o.] You see, as a doctor you get used to the whole balance-in-the-hospital thing. You know, when one person lives, another dies, and how it always seems to even out.
Mr. Larkin: But it's so soon. You said so yourself. What's going to happen to the baby?
Dr. Cox: We're gonna do our best.
J.D.: [v.o.] But it never seems fair when it happens in the same family.
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: Nice job, Newbie, a real nice job. All we gotta do now is cross our fingers.
J.D.: [v.o.] Death is always hanging around this hospital.
[fantasy: J.D. looks across the room and sees The Grim Reaper:]
The Grim Reaper: Morning.
J.D.: [v.o.] Ultimately it all boils down to what your attitude is about it.
Quote from Turk
Turk: We've known each other for like, a year and a half, right?
Carla: Turk, that's my ride.
Turk: Give me a second. I've been thinking a lot lately. [horn honks] I'm talking here!
Carla: I'm gonna miss my flight. I gotta go, honey. I'm sorry.
Turk: Will you marry me?
Carla: What did you say?
Turk: I think I said, "Will you marry me?"
Carla: Turk, wow!
Turk: I got a ring. I don't have it on me, but it's in a safe place.
Carla: I can't believe this. I've imagined you saying this to me a thousand times. I just never imagined that when you actually asked, all I would say is I need to think.
Turk: Cool. Yeah, phew. That's what I was hoping to hear.
Carla: I love you. I really do.
Turk: Love you too.
Carla: I'll be back in a few days.
Turk: I'll wait.