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My Number One Doctor

‘My Number One Doctor’

Season 7, Episode 6 - Aired December 6, 2007

After Dr. Kelso signs the hospital up for a website which lets patients rate their doctors, Dr. Cox and Turk are jealous when J.D. rockets to first place. Meanwhile, Carla can't believe the Janitor attracted a woman like Lady, and Elliot treats a terminal patient who has made her peace with dying.

Quote from J.D.

Turk: What if let you beat me in basketball while the nurses watch?
J.D.: Can we yell "white lightning" overtime I make a basket?
Turk: We always do.
J.D.: Back in.

Rate

Quote from J.D.

Turk: I talked to Kelso about the whole Todd thing, and you're back at number one.
J.D.: That's what I'm talking about! I figured since you can't say it anymore, maybe I could have it.
Turk: No.

Quote from Elliot

J.D.: [v.o.] Of course, if you're really the number one doctor, you might end up keeping things to yourself.
Gayle: Is there anything else I need to know?
Elliot: No, nothing else.
J.D.: [v.o.] Even if it will haunt you forever.

Quote from Todd

Turk: I can't lose to J.D., I don't care what it takes.
Dr. Cox: I thought he was your best friend.
Turk: Yeah, well, winning is way more important than friendship. My gram-gram taught me that. His patients love him. How do we undo that?
Todd: After you're done rating me at rateyourdoc.org go to my website: thetoddtime.com. Be sure to check out the Tranny Todd feature. It lets you see what the big dog looks like with the girl parts.
[later:]
Todd: Ma'am, the key to a speedy recovery is less moaning, more boning. Sure as my name is Dr. John Dorian.
Turk: That's what I'm talking about! I said it again. Aw, Damn.

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