J.D.: [v.o.] That's when I realized tonight we really were alone. Running the hospital.
Ted: [band sing the Charles in Charge theme song]

J.D.: [v.o.] Luckily, someone had the guts to take charge.
Carla: Look, you've all been on call before. So you don't have a safety net. Most of the time you don't need one anyway, right? Fine, I'll just go tell your patients they're on their own because you're too scared.
J.D.: No, Carla, I'm a doctor. I should tell them.
Elliot: Come on, peeps, let's go kick some sick patient ass.
J.D.: That, my friends, is one nerdy honky.
Turk: That's two.

Jordan: My back hurts.
Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah? Well, my front hurts, so touche.
Jordan: Always a charmer.

J.D.: [v.o.] Ah, the classic Catch-22 between medical and surgical. Bottom line, somebody needs to be decisive.
J.D.: OK, here's the plan. We do nothing.
Elliot: Sounds good.
Turk: I'm in.
Carla: That's inspiring.

Dr. Cox: I like you again. There. You win. You can do your victory dance or slaughter a goat, or whatever it is you do when you're happy.
Jordan: You don't like me.
Dr. Cox: I watch you when you sleep.
Jordan: Well, that just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Dr. Cox: I can't stop thinking about putting up with you.
Jordan: Look, this is pointless, angry, shallow sex. Why would you go and ruin something like that?
Dr. Cox: I'm real sorry, but that's just not enough for me anymore.
Jordan: Sweetie, I have feelings for you too. I do, but, unlike you, I have some balls, so you don't hear me whining about it. Look, Perry, I can't let you back into my life, and watch you personally and professionally sabotage every single chance that you get. It's too hard. I can't do it.
Dr. Cox: But I have changed. I have. I see a shrink now. I actually see two, to tell you the truth. Good God, what do you want me to do to prove to you that I'm not that guy anymore?
Jordan: Hmm.

Dr. Kelso: There you are. Had to make me sweat, didn't you? Good for you, buckaroo. Here, I took the liberty of writing out my introduction.
Dr. Cox: Ah. "Bob Kelso is the love of my life."
Dr. Kelso: My wife was going to do it.
Dr. Cox: She doesn't even seem to be here, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Eh. What are you gonna do?
Jordan: Lovely.

J.D.: His vitals are still the same. There's got to be one attending in this damn hospital.
Carla: You guys are unbelievable.
Turk: Thank you, baby.
Carla: Not the good kind.
Turk: I know.
Carla: You all claim you want more responsibility, but you're being outsmarted by a doctor with scrubs made of hemp. You're afraid to stand up to a volunteer who's answering the clinic phones. And, Bambi, did you ever place that femoral swan?
J.D.: It's on my to-do list.
Carla: Now, I know you were all hoping Officer Berson's vitals would go up or down and this decision would be made for you, but guess what, nothing's changed. So it's on you.

J.D.: [v.o.] Sometimes just making a decision is half the battle.
Ted: Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the Technology. We can make him better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. [band sings; talking:] Your shinunununununs could be louder. You guys were fine.

J.D.: [v.o.] Sometimes we're our own worst enemy. And sometimes we rise to the occasion. Even though we know that tomorrow morning, the three of us will go back to being the most unappreciated people in the whole damn hospital.
Nurse: Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were off last night.
Carla: I switched shifts to help some friends out. Have a good one. Hey, guys, wait up.