J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, you've got to fiix this before word gets around.
J.D.: Carla, wait.
[montage:]
Turk: What did you do?
Dr. Cox: What did you do?
Elliot: What did you do?
J.D.: She called me Bambi in front of everyone. My name is not Bambi!
Janitor: It's Scooter! Short for scooter pie.

Todd: Dude, chick threats are hot.
Turk: What did I say about annoying Carla? If she makes me choose between you two, you know how it'll end up.
Todd: Yes, I do. And I thank you for that.

Dr. Cox: Please, no. No.
Jill Tracy: Good morning, sunshine.
Dr. Cox: Could you possibly excuse me for just one second? [shakes his head] Oh, dear God, you're still here. Who exactly is doing this to me?

Elliot: Why'd you have me paged?
Jill Tracy: To ask you to forgive me.
Elliot: For what?
Dr. Cox: Hello, sad clown. Thanks for paging her.
Elliot: How could you?
Jill Tracy: He called me cutie and then said something about my eyes being as blue as the ocean. I got confused.
Elliot: It probably would've worked on me too.
Dr. Cox: You're damn right it would've.

Dr. Kelso: Well, look at you, all proud. Now, don't tell me you've already managed to eat?
Turk: And I took my sweet time, too.
[flashback to Turk wolfing his sandwich down]
Dr. Kelso: Consider that your last supper. I'm bored with the games.
Turk: Are you forbidding me to sit here?
Dr. Kelso: This is a public bench. You are as welcome here as I am but you won't come back again. You know why? Because you just don't have the mettle. Now get the hell out of here so I can eat my wife's egg salad sandwich before the tomato soaks through the bread. Ah. Beautiful day.

J.D.: So, did you get into photography when you were in college or?
Carla: No. Actually, I never went to college.
J.D.: Ah. Don't tell any of my patients but neither did I. [chuckles]
Carla: What, is that supposed to make me feel better or something?
J.D.: What? No, it was just a joke. I was doing the whole, like, turn a frown upside-down.
Carla: Yeah? You know what? Hold it. I don't think we're OK.
J.D.: You accepted my apology. You can't take it back.
Carla: Have you ever spent time with a woman?

J.D.: Hey, Carla, how many mEqs of potassium should I give this guy?
Carla: You know the answer to that. Don't do that. But thanks, Bambi.
J.D.: [v.o.] From that moment on, I knew I'd be Bambi for ever.
Dr. Cox: See you tomorrow, Scooter.
[The Janitor does a river dance]
J.D.: [v.o.] He's actually very talented.