‘My Moment of Un-Truth’
Season 3, Episode 17 - Aired March 30, 2004
As she begins to have doubts about Turk's maturity, Carla has dinner with a former crush, Ron (guest star Néstor Carbonell). When Elliot can't figure out what's wrong with her pain patient, Mr. Thompson (guest star Alexander Chaplin), Dr. Cox theorizes that he's a drug addict. Meanwhile, the Janitor tries to convince J.D. and Turk that he has a twin brother.
Quote from J.D.
Turk: Nag! Nag! Nag! Nag! You see how Carla is lately. I mean, is that all I have to look forward to?
J.D.: I hear they're coming out with a Stuart Little 3.
Turk: No, it's on hold. The director dropped out.
Quote from Carla
Ron: You know, I have to leave for a lecture tour on Monday, but I'm back the last week in April, so maybe we can get together then.
Carla: You know, I'm getting married April 24.
Ron: So then our plans totally interfere with your honeymoon.
Carla: A little bit.
Ron: Excited about it?
Carla: I'm so excited.
Quote from J.D.
[As Carla rushes to tell Turk about the date she went on, J.D. stops her and covers her mouth.]
J.D.: Whatever you do, don't scream.
Carla: Why would I scream?
J.D.: I don't know. People always say that in the movies.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Anyway, I don't think Turk's gonna be as excited about your big date as you are. All right? He definitely won't love the fact that I knew about it. So just tell him in five years.
[fantasy, five years later:]
Turk: You did what?!
[reality:]
J.D.: Make that 20 years.
[fantasy, twenty years later:]
Turk: Honey, that was a long time ago. Why are you still living here?
J.D.: Because I've got nowhere else to go! [farts] Sorry.
Quote from Carla
Carla: But still, what if I want to tell him?
J.D.: Well, that's up to you, isn't it? [holds beads] Got to go.
Carla: Damn beads.
Quote from Janitor
[After the Janitor gets in the elevator with them, Turk and J.D. bust out laughing:]
Janitor: Yuk it up, I don't care. I'm getting the last laugh. 'cause my brother's waiting for me downstairs and when these elevator doors open, you'll see, he's gonna be staring right at you two guys.
[elevator doors open; nobody is standing there]
Janitor: Okay, I don't know what I thought was gonna happen, but I think we can all agree that this isn't working out. It's costing me a tremendous amount of time and effort, so let's just call it a draw.
Turk: Hell, no! You lost. Live with it.
Quote from Carla
J.D.: [v.o.] And yet sometimes losing is a good thing. Like, for instance, when you lose your insecurities about the guy you're marrying, which makes it a whole lot easier to cut him some slack once in a while.
Carla: Go ahead, look.
Turk: Really, baby?
Carla: Yeah. Besides, you're cutting up your napkin.
Quote from J.D.
Carla: I felt nothing for him. How cool is that?
J.D.: I had a dream just like this, except I had a saddle on my back and you were an Indian. Turk was a donkey.