Elliot: Hey. What did you do last night?
Carla: Turk made me watch Anaconda with him.
Elliot: Ooh, is that the one with the giant snake?
Todd: No. This is the one with the giant snake. I was back here for 45 minutes waiting for a set-up. My back is killing me. But I nailed it. It's about commitment.

Dr. Cox: All right, people, gather around. Here we go. Now, I'm sure we all recognize just how rare it is to get a win like this. But seen as we are surrounded by patients who are clinging to life, I'm going to give kudos in whisper form. [whispers] Since I'm an egomaniac, first props come to me. Let me hear it, people.
Turk: [whispers] You are some kind of super hero.
Carla: [whispers] You're a god.
Elliot: [whispers] You're a beautiful healer.

J.D.: [v.o.] We did all we could over the next few days to keep the transplant patients going, but odds were against us. First we lost Mrs. Sykes. And then Mr. Dennison. And I knew that Dr. Cox needed me the exact same way that I needed him earlier.
J.D.: Hey. Hungry?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I guess our lunch was kind of a one time thing, huh? There's no way you could have seen that coming. I mean, rabies? Come on. There's like three reported cases a year. In fact, testing for it would've been irresponsible. You would've wasted time those people didn't have.
Dr. Cox: I was obsessed with getting those organs.
J.D.: You had to be. The fact is that those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make a call. I would've made the same call.
Dr. Cox: Yeah?
J.D.: Yes. And I got us lunch, and I think we should eat it.
J.D.: [v.o.] Right then, I knew I was gonna pull him out of this. But unfortunately sometimes the hospital picks a day where it's just gonna pile it on.
Dr. Cox: [both pagers beeping] Oh, God. Come on.

J.D.: Hey, wanna go splitsies on some deli counter meatloaf? I can't finish a whole serving. I mean, I can, but I don't like to. It all goes right here.
Dr. Cox: My God. Could this be any more of a nightmare?
Jill Tracy: Guys!
J.D.: [v.o.] Yes, it could be more of a nightmare. Jill Tracy was a former patient who had once tried to kill herself. Sad, yes, but this did not change the fact that she was unbelievably annoying.

Dr. Cox: You know what, Newbie? Stay. Have lunch. [whizzing sound]
J.D.: One of those emergencies. I should go too. How are things?
Rebecca: You know that's stealing.
J.D.: Oh, come on, Rebecca, everybody's doing it. I won't tell anyone if you don't.
Rebecca: Security!
J.D.: Security?
Rebecca: We've got a grazer.
J.D.: I don't think there's a security force. OK. Hey, fellas.
Jill Tracy: Wherever you're taking him, take me too. No, you go ahead.
J.D.: Where's the shaving cream? Is that aisle two still?

Elliot: We need to keep them going until we can find donors.
Dr. Cox: Alright, Barbie, check on Mrs. Sykes's ammonia level. She's encephalopathic. Gandhi, review Dennison's chart and get me a consent. Bobbo, get on the horn to your cronies at local hospitals and get me a donor update.
Dr. Kelso: Fine. Some of the boys are coming over tonight anyway. I'll bring it up to Morrison while he sets up the projector for the stag flicks.
Dr. Cox: Just the organs, Bob. Don't need the visual of old men with erections.
Carla: And now it's in my head forever.
Dr. Cox: Sorry. Go step up Davey Bradford's dialysis to take your mind off of it.

Dr. Cox: Newbie, feel like a sandwich?
J.D.: I do feel like a sandwich.
Dr. Cox: You feel more like a pastry. A very doughy pastry. I don't feel good about that. Way too easy.

Carla: Hey. How could your intern, Lisa, sleep with him?
Elliot: She's a tramp with no morals.
Lisa: I never slept with the Todd. [scoffs]
Elliot: Lisa is sweet and people don't give her a chance.

Carla: I wonder who else Todd lied about sleeping with?
[montage:]
Nurse #1: I didn't sleep with him.
Nurse #2: God, no.
Nurse #3: Are you kidding me?
Gloria: Todd? Is he the big black security guard with the hook hand?
Elliot: Uh, no.
Gloria: Then no.

Mr. Bradford: So am I ever getting out?
Dr. Cox: We haven't found you a kidney yet, but I have some ideas.
[fantasy: J.D. finds himself in an ice bath. When he looks up, Mr. Bradford is holding a kidney while Dr. Cox holds a scalep:]
Mr. Bradford: Yeah, this will do.
J.D.: Ah, what the hell. [stands up] I can live with one kidney.
Dr. Cox: 'Cause we'll probably just go 'head and sell this one.
[J.D. looks down and sees two incisions. He passes out.]
[reality:]
J.D.: Stay away from my organs.