‘My Karma’
Season 2, Episode 16 - Aired February 20, 2003
J.D. and Turk worry about karma when they fear may be responsible for a patient's injuries. Elliot tries to keep Paul from seeing her crazy side. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox pulls out all the stops for Jordan as she gets ready to give birth.
Quote from Jordan
J.D.: [v.o.] After being blackmailed, I decided to check in on Jordan.
Jordan: You tell me, Donna. Do I look like I need more drugs?
Dr. Donna: Ow, my face!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] Then again, I have other problems. I know some windshield hush money won't keep the karma gods from coming after Turk and me.
Nurse Roberts: Q-tip, Dr. Murphy called. They need you to cover his call tonight.
[later:]
Turk: Dude, Dr. Wen's doing a stomach stapling and he wants you to be there to hold back the guy's fat flap.
[later:]
Dr. Kelso: Apparently, my face is scaring my patients, so you're gonna take them off my hands for about a week.
[later:]
J.D.: Turk, the Dairy Queen burned down.
Turk: No.
J.D.: Now do you see?
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] I still believe in karma, and if I wasn't being punished for Mr. Golf Ball, I think I knew where my bad karma was coming from.
Jordan: I don't know that many straight guys that wear cologne.
J.D.: I'm down to one spritz.
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God, would you look at the mug on Jordan's baby? Must have one butt-ugly father.
J.D.: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] Damn you, karma.
Quote from Jordan
Dr. Donna: It's important to stay positive.
Jordan: Get me an epidural before I rip your teeth out!
Dr. Donna: Okey-dokey.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: This guy is going to sue the hospital, we're going to get fired, we'll have to become male whores. Very successful whores. We'll probably have a nicer apartment and some bling-bling, but male whores nonetheless.