J.D.: By the way, Carla, I know an amazing Journey cover band, you should get 'em to play at your reception.
Carla: Bambi, not everyone loves Journey as much as you.
J.D.: I don't love Journey.
Turk: [singing] "She's just a small town girl"
J.D.: "Livin' in a lonely world! She took a midnight train goin' an-y-where!" Fine, I love 'em. If you wanna book the band, they're called The Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin's and they rock! Book 'em now, thank me later.

J.D.: I can't believe you and Carla set a date.
Turk: Yep, it's happening.
Dr. Cox: Wedding talk! Oh, how lovely! Listen, Hilton sisters: Mr. Quinn in 206 still has a severely shattered clavicle and he needs a surgical consult now. And, seeing as he's your patient, and you're a surgeon, gosh, I was hoping that if you two hens have an extra moment between choosing centerpieces and deciding just exactly how you're gonna attach that veil onto Baldy's head, well, it would just be super-de-duper if you could peek in in there and give him the old lookie-loo; wouldn't it?

Carla: Well, I'm telling you, Laverne, by this afternoon we're gonna find out whose urine this is.
Nurse Roberts: I got a better idea: Why don't you do that. I'm gonna run across the street and get my tooth fixed so I can stop looking like Larry Holmes.

Cashier: $6.50 please.
Carla: $6.50 for an egg salad sandwich?
Cashier: $4 for the egg salad, $2 for the apple juice that you put in a urine container.
Carla: Who would do that?!
Todd: Just the burger for me.

Janitor: Uh, it's not any of my business, but I think I know whose wizz that is.
Carla: I love you! Okay, go.
Janitor: Uh, his name is Mr. Freely.
Carla: First name?
Janitor: I.P.
Carla: "I.P. Freely"?
Janitor: Funny in third grade, funny now.

J.D.: I'm outta here.
Turk: Hey! J.D. Come on, man! All right, fine, man! I could have plenty of deep moments with The Todd!
Todd: Hey. You think gay dudes get turned on by their own wieners?
Turk: Oh, my God.

Turk: Whassup?
J.D.: Oh, nothing. I just found out my favorite chips cause anal leakage and, oh, I'm not talking to you.
Dr. Cox: How did you get him to stop talking to you?
J.D.: I don't get it, man. All I wanted to do was take you to dinner, and you made me feel like a total idiot.
Dr. Cox: Wait a minute, I always make him feel like an idiot.
Turk: Why you making a big deal about this?
J.D.: You never tell me how you feel!
Dr. Cox: Aw, dammit all! I never tell you how I feel.
J.D.: I'm not talking to you!
Dr. Cox: Finally! Thank you.

J.D.: I don't understand. Ever since I met you it's been like this one-way street. I mean, I tell you everything, and you tell me nothing. I don't get it. What are you afraid of?
Will: Hey, guys. This is my fiance, Tracy. This is Dr. Turk, and Dr. Dorian.
[The Caucasian patient Will is wearing a blue dressing gown of similar color to J.D.'s scrubs. Tracy is an African-American man wearing a green shirt of similar color to Turk's surgical scrubs]
Dr. Cox: Honest to God, I- I love this place.

Janitor: Nurse Espinosa, I feel bad about what happened before; and so I went and searched through like forty bags of garbage. And I found the torn off urine label. Also found half a tooth.
Nurse Roberts: Over here, jumpsuit!
Carla: Mr. Thomasberg, let's get you to the lab!
Dr. Cox: Hey, studly! Now, when you were out rooting through the dumpster, you didn't stumble across your own testicles, did ya?
Janitor: Hey, you know that long line of trembling peons that are so afraid of you? Well I'm not in that line.
Dr. Cox: Oh, you're not?
Janitor: No. I'm not in anybody's line.
Nurse Roberts: This is a Chicklet!
Janitor: I gotta go.

Turk: Look who's here.
J.D.: [v.o.] I'm never happy when a guy comes back into Elliot's life. But at least with Sean it's entertaining.
Elliot: Thanks for the lathe. I should have warned you that the reason I love that place is that they're known for making the hottest coffee in town.
Sean: Yeah, well, no sthweat. You know, lessthon learned.
Carla: Is it me, or do those two seem less awkward around each other?
Sean: See ya, Elliot.
[Sean drives off with Elliot's backpack trapped in the car door]
Elliot: Gah! ... See ya!