Josephine: [high-pitched voice] And now on to our next patient. Let's go, bitches!
Dr. Cox: Why is Dr. Squeaky-Pants leading rounds? Where the hell is Dorian?

Ted: Dr. Reid? May I talk to you?
[as they walk through the hospital]
Elliot: Ted, are you gonna talk?
Ted: In a second. I'm just waiting for the anti-anxiety medication to kick in. And... there it is. Hey, baby.
Elliot: Yeah, Ted, i'm actually in charge of keeping a lot of people alive, so...
Ted: Carla's right. Keith's a mess. He hasn't been able to pull out of it since you ended things. He's sad all the time.
Elliot: Yeah, I don't see it.
Ted: Of course you don't. No one ever wants the person who hurt them to ever see how badly they've been hurt.

Elliot: Keith, I just realized that I never really took the time to apologize for the way things ended between us. I mean, I did say that I was so sorry right when it happened. Remember? We were outside, I gave you the ring back, you started crying and cr-
Keith: Uh, no need to recap, Elliot.
Elliot: Right. Look, I know this was my decision, so it was easier for me to move on, and, well, you know, make jokes and stuff. I guess that I've been so self-involved I never stopped to think that you still may be hurting. Anyway, I just wanted to really apologize for everything.
Keith: Thanks. It means a lot.
Elliot: Hug?
Keith: No.
Elliot: Okay.

J.D.: So what do we do?
Dr. Cox: I don't know.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, my God. He's treating me like an equal. Quick, do something equals do.
[J.D. leans forward, grabs Dr. Cox's coffee cup and takes a sip]
Dr. Cox: Why would you do that?
J.D.: I don't know. I thought equals shared coffee.
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: So this intern that you mentioned earlier? I'm sure eventually he turned into a pretty amazing doctor. Didn't he?
Dr. Cox: Actually, it was a "she."
J.D.: It wasn't me?
Dr. Cox: No, no, it was you. It was you. [as J.D. grabs the coffee cup at the same time] Hey.
J.D.: We'll get there.

Dr. Cox: Oh, Mr. Hicks' cardiac test results. They're negative. What do you know about that? Just like the 100 other tests we ordered for a man whose only complaint was shortness of breath.
Dr. Maddox: I assume there's a nugget of a point buried in there.
Dr. Cox: Why you running that guy through the wringer?
Dr. Maddox: Because he's got awesome insurance. He's 100% pure profit machine. Ka, and might I add, ching I mean, I may even order an M.R.I. just to see if he's actually stuffed with money. In fact, I think I'm ordering one. And since you cried about it, why don't you take him to radiology like a good little boy?

Carla: The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh?
Friendly Janitor: Hi, folks. If you need anything cleaned up, just give me a shout, okay?
Carla: Sure.
J.D.: Who the hell is that?
Carla: I don't know.
J.D.: I like him.

Elliot: You know, our intern class was the last good one.
Keith: You must've liked my class a little, seeing as you almost married me.
Elliot: Mm, yeah, but hello, Keith, I didn't.