Carla: You two are so boring.
Janitor: Janitors aren't boring.
Carla: You wanna know the weird defect you both have that made you screw up like this?
Elliot: Please.
Carla: You're both humans.
Janitor: Janitors aren't human.
Carla: They are! And Elliot, I'm really annoyed with you because I gave you this lecture two weeks ago.
[flashback:]
Carla: Pay attention, because I don't wanna be saying the same thing again in two weeks. You're both human.
[present:]
Elliot: I don't recall that.
Carla: It's human who want the best for your patient, even if you can't follow your own advice. It's human to get passionate about something and then get complacent. It's annoying to whine about it all the time!

Janitor: Janitors don't whine. Oh, wait, yes we do. That's our thing.

J.D.: Dan, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go over to Kim's and me and meet my son.
Dan: Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. You know, J.D., you were the one who told me to get my life together in the first place.
J.D.: But I never thought you'd do it.
Dan: Uh, it's so lovely saying to me.
J.D.: I'm happy for you, Dan.

Dan: You don't know how to turn it on, do you?
J.D.: No idea. I pushed it from the parking spot back there.
Dan: Okay, well, you see this button?
J.D.: Yeah, I discovered that's the stereo.
Dan: And if you push this up.
J.D.: That's pretty clearly a vent.

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard to own up to your shortcomings. Like for instance your own hypocrisy.
Elliot: Robyn, the nurses told me that you haven't been eating enough.
Robyn: Well, what about you?
Elliot: This isn't about me. I'm not the one fainting at the office, so just do what I tell you to do.
Dr. Cox: Barbie, there you are. You were standing sideways so I didn't see you.

J.D.: [v.o.] Still, once you do own up, you might be surprised to see that you did make a difference.
[After Colonel Doctor, Dr. Beardface, Snoop Dogg Attending, and Dr. Mickhead climb out of Kelsos' car with pastries:]
Dr. Kelso: Damn it! Next time you guys get pastry crumbs all over my car, you had better bring a scone for the driver.
Ted: Well, what do you know? Your carpool thing's stuck.
Janitor: I guess that's something, right?

J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I always assumed growing up happened automatically as you got older, but it's really something you have to choose to do.
J.D.: See you tomorrow, Sam, I promise.
Dan: Night, buddy.
J.D.: [v.o.] I guess I feel like I'm finally on my way.
Dan: He looks like dad.
J.D.: I know.