‘My Growing Pains’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired November 29, 2007
When Dr. Cox treats a young leukemia patient, he tells the kid about his condition against the wishes of the boys' parents. Meanwhile, J.D. decides it's time to give up childish games, and Elliot is determined to throw Dr. Kelso a party.
Quote from Carla
Dr. Cox: Hey Carla, I got you some Kelso cake, it's delish. And a dreidel.
Carla: I'm not talking to you.
Dr. Cox: Okay, now if was anybody else, I'd just say "Thank you" and let it die. But, since it's you, I gotta know what it is that I don't get.
Carla: Too bad.
Dr. Cox: Oh, come on!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, walk by, so he doesn't even have a chance to tempt you. What the hell is behind his ear?
Turk: I know you see that. Why don't you just go ahead and grab it?
J.D.: Turk, I am not playing "Hide the Saltine".
Turk: You know you wanna.
Carla: That's 1-nothing me! [eats saltine]
Turk: Yes, it is!
J.D. & Dr. Cox: [in unison] Wait. Why are you torturing me?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Sir, I got you a power drill, I know you wanted one for your hobby shop.
Dr. Kelso: The Janitor already gave me one. Nobody likes a copycat, Ted.
Ted: So what do I do with this?
Janitor: Ooh! Thanks.
Ted: Hey!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Board Member: So Bob, I just dropped by to tell you we need to find an interim orthopedic surgeon. Apparently, Dr. Hooch was involved in some kind of hostage situation.
Dr. Kelso: Well, Hooch is crazy.
Board Member: 65, huh?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah. How about that?
Board Member: How about that?
Quote from J.D.
J.D. and Dr. Cox: Okay, we gotta talk.
Dr. Cox: [to J.D.] If you speak simultaneously with me again, I'm going to have to kill you!
J.D.: ...to kill you!
Quote from Turk
Turk: I'll tell you why I'm torturing you. Why would you stop being you?
J.D.: Because he called me an infant!
Carla: Of course he did.
J.D.: Plus, two weeks ago you were all over me about growing up.
Turk: But I wasn't saying you needed to change who you are. I just meant that once you have a kid you gotta be more responsible, and you're doing that. Look at you, you spend a ton of time with Sam. Hell, you even started a college fund for him.
Carla: He started a college fund? We didn't start a college fund.
Turk: Baby, we're being in team. How often does that happen? Get in the game!
Quote from Carla
Carla: You're just as dumb as he is! Of course Josh had to find out what was wrong with him, eventually, but you were so cavalier about telling him and taking his childhood away.
Dr. Cox: I didn't take his childhood away.
Carla: Oh, really? Because Josh was spending so much time on his laptop, researching leukemia mortality rates, I had to give him a basketball just to distract him!
Turk: Wait, what?!
Carla: Turk, we're a team.
Dr. Cox: Who cares about losing your childhood? I damn sure didn't!
J.D.: Yeah, because your parents were violently abusive alcoholics. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was probably very exciting.
Carla: Don't take your lead from this train wreck. If you're lucky enough to still have a kid inside, you gotta hold on to that.
Turk: And if you don't have one, I bet if you think about it, you want your kids to spend as much time as possible just being what?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, the only thing I hate more than simultaneous speaking is when people try to get me to finish their sentences.
Turk: Just being kids. That's right. By the way, baby, you're getting my basketball back from that cancer kid.
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] No matter how old you are, you should never forget the importance of childhood. Whether it's letting your kid hold onto his...
Dr. Cox: [goofy voice] How're you doing, Jackie?
Jack: Do it again.
Dr. Cox: I love daddy! I love Jackie! Get me a kiss!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
J.D.: [v.o.] Because everything happens so fast, it can all slip away before you know.
Board Member: So, Bob, as you know it's our policy to have administrators step down when they reach 65. Over the next few months, we'll be searching for your replacement.
Dr. Kelso: Do me a favor and keep this between us.
Board Member: Of course.