‘My Fruit Cups’
Season 2, Episode 8 - Aired November 14, 2002
Short on cash, J.D. and Turk volunteer at an urgent care center, and liberate Sacred Heart of some of its supplies. Elliot resists her father's attempt to push her into OB/GYN work. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox's relationship with Julie (Heather Locklear) is thrown in doubt when Jordan wants to get back together with him.
Quote from Turk
Carla: Hey, there, sunshine.
J.D.: Morning.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot Carla is staying with us while her building is being fumigated.
Turk: Hey, don't use Rowdy to cover up your giblets. Apologize.
Quote from J.D.
Carla: Hey, can someone tell me why we have no milk or orange juice, but, like, 40 fruit cups in here?
J.D.: [v.o.] The average resident owes over $100,000 in med school loans and makes about as much as a waiter. So you have to do things to make ends meet. Like you can cover someone's shift. Or you can steal stuff from the hospital. Or you can moonlight at an urgent care center. Or you can steal stuff. Or your dad can pay for everything. Or... Well, you know.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: So I did that cardioversion, I extubated Mrs. Bays, and I finished all the transfer summaries on the nursing-home patients.
Dr. Cox: Well, what can I say? You did exceptional work today, Newbie, and I'm proud of you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Did he just wink at me?
Dr. Cox: Is there a problem?
[fantasy: J.D. cries:]
J.D.: I'm just so happy.
[reality:]
J.D.: No, no problem, sir.
Dr. Cox: Attaboy.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Nurse Roberts: Why the hell is he so cheery?
J.D.: Because I did exceptional work today.
Dr. Cox: Hey, babe.
Julie: I ordered the fight on pay-per-view, got a six-pack of your favorite beer, and we are leaving this second.
Dr. Cox: Hop on, Blondie. Come here. [singing] Oh, Perry gonna get some loving Perry gonna get some loving Oh, Perry gonna get some
Nurse Roberts: Mmm-huh.
Quote from J.D.
Carla: Hey, guys. Gyno Girls, twelve o'clock.
J.D.: [v.o.] Obstetrics and Gynaecology is a specialty that's usually dominated by women.
Dr. Gerson: Dr. Reid, I'm Dr. Gerson. We were just wondering if you have any thoughts about your specialty, because we really think you're OBG/YN material.
J.D.: [v.o.] Being a Gyno Girl is a lot like being in a sorority.
[fantasy: the four "Gyno" women are having a pillow fight in their underwear before they begin to kiss]
Elliot: J.D., I can't go with Dr. Gerson because I have to help you, right?
J.D.: Give me a second. I'm figuring something out for a patient.
[fantasy: the four "Gyno" women are just sitting on the bed:]
Dr. Gerson: I'm glad we all finally experimented with each other, but I'll never do it again.
[reality:]
J.D.: [v.o.] Dammit.
Quote from Turk
Turk: There we go.
J.D.: [v.o.] Moonlighting sucks, but Turk and I make do.
Turk: Now, will a lollipop put a smile on your face?
J.D.: How about if Dr. Turk sings Jimmy Crack Corn? How about if Dr. Turk sings Jimmy Crack Corn as Neil Diamond?
Turk: OK. Hit it. [sings "Jimmy Crack Corn" as Neil Diamond]
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: You know, we're zeroing in on the guy that's been stealing stuff.
J.D.: Oh. Well, that's good.
Janitor: Yep. In fact, right now I'm dusting for fingerprints.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: Nah, I'm just dusting.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
J.D.: I finished those discharge dictations you wanted, and I was able to get Mrs. Jeskie on the transplant list.
J.D.: [v.o.] And here comes the wink. OK, maybe I'll start it off.
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God, Sabrina, you had better tell me you just had laser eye surgery and they accidentally severed the muscle that enables you to hold that lid up, because you did not just wink at me.
J.D.: I didn't mean anything by it. I wink at everybody. Hey, Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Save it for the bathhouses, sport.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: So, Dad, how are things at home?
Dr. Simon Reid: Good, good. Your mom re-did the bedroom again. I'm going to keep mine the way it is.
Elliot: Well, you don't want to be a couple that does everything together.
Quote from J.D.
Turk: Hey, man, you wanna grab a couple of beers tonight?
J.D.: I can't. I'm moonlighting at urgent care.
Turk: That's funny. The lady didn't call me.
J.D.: Well, maybe that's because I found out you stole $100 from me, and I Marcia Brady'd your ass.
Turk: What?
J.D.: You know, when Marcia worked at the ice-cream shop, and then she got Jan a job, and they liked Jan better so they fired Marcia.
Turk: Yeah, Marcia Gets Creamed, season five, episode three. Don't ever question me on The Bunch. Besides, there's no way they liked you better than me.
J.D.: Well, then maybe it's because I told her that you smoke the ganja.
Turk: What? That's not even true. You're a jackass.
J.D.: Where you going? Munchies?