‘My Fifteen Minutes’
Season 1, Episode 8 - Aired November 15, 2001
After J.D. and Turk save the life of a TV news camera-man, Dr. Kelso decides to feature them on posters promoting the hospital. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox asks J.D. to do his own evaluation, and Elliot is hurt when Carla lies to get out of spending the evening with her.
Quote from Carla
Turk: You know, you're gonna have to see her eventually.
Carla: No, I don't. Because I know the layout to the air-duct system like the back of my hand. Of course I'm gonna have to see her again.
Quote from Turk
J.D.: [v.o.] One of the best things about my friendship with Turk is that we're always challenging each other to try new things.
J.D.: I can't believe we're going to a strip club for lunch.
Turk: Oh, I don't think about it that way. This just is a nice place to buy a burger that's a short, convenient two-and-a-half mile walk away from the hospital.
Quote from Nurse Roberts
J.D.: Would you describe me as warm, professional, or both?
Nurse Roberts: I'd describe you as "I'm on my lunch."
J.D.: I don't know whether to be easy or hard on myself-
Nurse Roberts: Can't you see I'm watching my stories?
Quote from Turk
Dr. Kelso: What makes you think I wanna be a part of this, J.D.?
J.D.: I don't know. Kelso said it would make us role models. I guess, I just assumed...
Turk: Yeah, everybody assumes that I'm a good athlete, or that I grew up poor, or that I love Sanford and Son.
J.D.: But you do love Sanford And Son. We both do. [starts humming the Sanford and Sun theme. Turk joins in.] That's what I'm talking about.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna leave the cart in the closet. I'm going to leave the closet unlocked. If, by magic, it should happen to reappear, I won't ask any questions.
J.D.: I don't even know what "it" is.
Janitor: Then why take it?
Quote from J.D.
Protesters: [chanting] No skin! We all win!
J.D.: Let's get outta here before we end up on the news.
Anchorwoman: Excuse me. Are you two gentlemen visiting the club?
Turk: No, we're here protesting.
J.D.: I'm worried about the kids.
Anchorwoman: So what's that in your pocket?
J.D.: Oh, this is... It's $38 in singles. I bought a newspaper and this is the change from my 40.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Well, maybe I'm biased, but to me, every doctor here at Sacred Heart is a hero. Does that mean I'm a hero? I don't know.
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: [v.o] Life in a hospital moves fast. One second you're a hero, the next you're obsessing about intern evaluations.
Elliot: Who cares? It's only a grade.
J.D.: Really? What did you get?
Elliot: An A-plus, but then I turned on the waterworks and the resident changed it to A-plus-plus.
J.D.: It's a proud day for women everywhere.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Before you deny that you like looking at strange naked women again, I should remind you that when you stay at my place, it's not a hotel. The movie titles do come up on the bill.
Turk: I'm sticking with "we were protesting." J.D.?
J.D.: Outraged and disgusted.
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] Now I think about it, I'm psyched to have Dr. Cox do my evaluation. It'll give me a chance to finally see what he truly thinks of me.
Dr. Cox: Look, Doogie, I'm up to my cha-chas in busywork, so I'm gonna take a rain check on your report card and just have you do it yourself.
J.D.: You didn't even fill out my name.
Dr. Cox: Well, now, I think it's John, or Jimmy or Ji or hmm. Oh, gosh, it's in the J family. But if you get in trouble, just ask the nurses for help.