Janitor: Greetings, customer! What can I get you?

J.D.: [v.o.] I didn't tell Kim about how I most likely ruined my career by misdiagnosing the cotton candy man. I don't like to be a burden to the people I care about.
J.D.: Turk. I need you, and I need you now.
Carla: Isabella, this is the man you'll be competing with for your father's love.
J.D.: Goochie-goochie-goo. Turk. Now.
Turk: Babe, he's using his emergency tone.
Carla: Go ahead. I have to feed her anyway.

J.D.: His rash is probably purpura from disseminated intravascular coagulopathy, and I missed it, Turk. I'm screwed! Okay, you... you go in there and take care of things. I'll... I'll just stand out here and think about all the things I'll miss about being a doctor. The light cotton outfits, the free gauze.
Turk: He's gone. Somebody shot him.
J.D.: Oh. I hope it wasn't the corn-dog guy. They never got along.

Elliot: Look, Dr. Turner, you're older, you're not in the best health. I really think that this surgery could kill you.
Dr. Turner: Are they gonna come in and shave me soon?
Elliot: I'm still your primary physician.
Dr. Turner: No, Kershnar's my lead now.
Dr. Kershnar: I think surgery is the right choice.
Elliot: Did you give him cue cards?
Dr. Turner: That way he gets it exactly right.

J.D.: I feel like I dodged a bullet. Trust me, Brown Bear, you don't want this hanging over your head. Find Vijay and give him his twenty bucks back.
Turk: Yeah, but then I'd have to give the money back to all the others. I kinda did a few diagnoses at the mall yesterday.
J.D.: Are you crazy? You could get sued! Secondly, I can't believe you went to the mall without me. I specifically told you I needed to buy loafers. And thirdly, how could you go to the mall without me? That's our thing!

Turk: All right, I earned that money, and I'm not giving it back, and there's nothing you can do to make me.
[cut to:]
Carla: Give those people their money back.
Turk: I can't believe you told!
J.D.: Turk, we're doctors. We live by a moral code.
Doug: [in the oversized shirt of the cotton candy man] Aloha! I came to see the little kahuna!

Turk: J.D., what the hell. I'm a surgeon. That could have hit my hand.
J.D.: Why are you being so weird lately? You won't loan me money for cotton candy, you're charging strangers for medical advice, and now you're worried about your hand? Who are you?
All: And what did you do with Turk?
J.D.: Great work, everybody. Thank you. I asked them to help me out for emphasis. Seriously, what's going on?
Turk: You saw what happened yesterday.
[flashback:]
Carla: Oh, look at this little angel. I may never go back to work.
[present:]
Turk: How the hell am I supposed to take care of a whole family by myself?

Dr. Cox: I'm so sorry, Barbie.
Elliot: Why didn't he listen?
[Elliot screams as Dr. Turner sits up from underneath the blanket. Dr. Cox laughs]
Elliot: I thought that you hated him.
Dr. Cox: Ah, when it comes to torturing you, everybody's on the same page.
Dr. Turner: You know, Reid, you had the cojones to stand up to me, unlike Kershnar, whom I've so demoralized he's basically my trained chimp. ... He's almost human. Anyway, I've got enough yes-men. You've got a spine. Join my practice. You can still work out of this hospital, the only difference is you'd make double the money.
Dr. Cox: Easy, buddy. That smell burning your nostrils isn't just the baby throw-up on her jacket.
Elliot: Oh, uh, I got to hold Isabella. She squirted out of my arms, but Carla caught her.
Dr. Cox: It's the smell of a doctor with integrity.
Dr. Turner: Also, you'll never have to answer to this guy again.

Turk: I look at Isabella, and I get really scared. And I'm gonna need you to be there to help me through this.
J.D.: Well that sucks, 'cause I was counting on you to make it look easy so I know I can handle it when my turn comes.
Turk: Awesome.
J.D.: Turk, you're at the beginning of your career. You know you're gonna make plenty of money.
Turk: It's good to hear that from you, thank you.
J.D.: You're gonna be just fine.
Turk: I suppose so.
J.D.: Totally fine.
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: Would you mind telling me that I'm gonna be fine, Turk? Am I gonna be fine? I think I'm gonna be fine!
Turk: Well, I would, but I don't know how much you like Kim.
J.D.: I really like her.
Turk: Then you're gonna be fine.
J.D.: Thanks. Is there anything else you wanna tell me, or admit to? I mean, I looked everywhere, there was no signs of balloons.

Kim: I got offered a new job.
J.D.: Cool! Is it over at County? 'cause that way I can drop you off every morning.
Kim: It's in Tacoma, Washington.
J.D.: Oh. That's gonna be a little rough on my scooter.