Jordan: I'm gonna miss this office.
Dr. Cox: Why? It smells like that odd combo of flop sweat, hopelessness, and feet.
Jordan: Yeah, I know. It's just I guess this stupid job made me feel valid again. You know? You don't know. It's okay. See you at home.

J.D.: [v.o.] Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect a friend to just sense that you're upset and want to talk about it.
Elliot: Carla, I can sense you're upset. Talk to me.
J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, but Turk's a prideful guy, and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive.
Dr. Cox: Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive.
J.D.: [v.o.] Touche, magic hallway. Bottom line, I should've had more faith in my friend to come through for me.
J.D.: Turk!
Hooch: No, it's me, Hooch, Vanilla Bear.
J.D.: [v.o.] Hooch is crazy.

Turk: So where's Chocolate Bear Number 2?
[meanwhile, there's a man lying on the floor of the elevator as Hooch holds a shoe:]
Hooch: Who else thinks they're faster than me, huh? Huh?
[present:]
J.D.: Yo, Hooch is seriously crazy.

J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but for the last 12 years, you've practically been like my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
J.D.: Look, before, when you said I'd never be as cool as when I was living with you, you know there's some truth to that. I'm sorta like odd and geeky and you've always sort of validated me.
Turk: J.D., you're just moving out.
J.D.: Well, say things will be the same.
Turk: [pager beeps] That's Carla. I gotta go. You're right. Things are gonna be different. But different doesn't always mean bad. Just means different.

J.D.: [v.o.] As every piece of food I'd put to my body in the last year was rushing out of me, it got me thinking. The way some things never change shines a light on the things that do. Like when a new person comes into the hospital to stay.
Dr. Cox: [whistles]
Janitor: My office keys, Ted.
Elliot: Can't believe I'm actually doing this. You're meeting me out later, right?
J.D.: [v.o.] Or an old friend leaves for good. Sometimes the biggest changes are a result of an impulsive decision.
Carla: I think we should have a baby.
Turk: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know you're feeling abandoned right now, but we just went through a really rough spot, And I'm not the type of guy to make life-changing decisions without thinking about it for at least, like, a few months. [Carla unbuttons her top] Let's make a baby.
J.D.: [v.o.] And so here I am, a guy in an empty apartment with a dead dog. Oh, and that's not a tear on my cheek. That's just from the leak in my ceiling. And, yes, change is scary, but it's also inevitable. It's up to you to make the best of it. I mean, it's not like opportunity's just gonna fall into your lap.
[A woman in her bathtub crashes through the ceiling]
J.D.: [v.o.] Then again...
J.D.: Howdy, neighbor, I'm Jonathan.
Woman: Hi.
Man: You eyeballin' my woman?
J.D.: [v.o.] I hate change.