J.D.: [v.o.] I think when rational men are forced to face their shortcomings they all do the same thing: Blame Kevin Casey! Who gave him the right to judge me? 'Cause I sure didn't! I'll give him a piece of my mind. See how he likes it. Unfortunately no one knew where the son of a bitch was.

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I'm far too irritable right now to pretend I don't hate you, so let's cut to the chase.
[The elevator door opens behind Dr. Kelso. The Janitor is in there surrounded by garbage bags.]
Dr. Kelso: If you know where all the garbage in this hospital is going, I'll give you eight dollars.
J.D.: Sorry, sir.
Janitor: Thanks!

Ted: You did it, Teddy! It's over! Here comes sweet relief! Is this heaven?
Janitor: It's garbage.
Randall: Way to cost us a cherry gig, bra.
Ted: Wha?
Dr. Kelso: I want my money back. And Ted, shower and get back to work.
Janitor: You know, if you try that around the corner, you can land right in the street.

Dr. Wen: That was a near-perfect laparoscopic cholecystectomy. Have you been working on your dexterity?
Turk: Well, I've been playing a little John Madden Football on my X-Box.
Todd: I'd like to play John Madden Football on her X-box.
Turk: On who, Todd? There are no women here.
Todd: Well, it's still funny.

Dr. Wen: The Todd here used to be our number one lap-chole guy. But the torch has been passed.
Turk: Thank you, sir. [to J.D.] Dude. Yo, wait till you hear this! Dr. Wen just said that I'm their number one lap-chole guy now!
Dr. Wen: [to Todd] Disappointed?
Todd: I shoulda waited till there was a chick around to make that "X-box" joke, you know? He knows.