Dr. Cox: Barbie.
Elliot: Whatever you need, Dr. Cox, I'm your girl.
Dr. Cox: Peachy. Now go down to the pharmacy and get me 30 grams of Kayexalate. And don't dilly-dally trying to refill your Prozac. You're on my time now. Go, go, go.

J.D.: [v.o.] You really have to keep an eye on things around here, because just when it seems everything's going great, that's when the tiniest thing can throw it all outta whack.
Turk: What are you doing? When the lunch lady asked if you wanted fries, you said no.
Carla: Yeah, but I wanted fries.
Turk: So why didn't you order fries?
Carla: Because I can't have French fries. Duh.
Turk: Here. Have 'em all. Have a fry salad.
Carla: What the? Turk? Baby, come on.
Nurse Roberts: Girlfriend, you know I cannot have French fries.

Carla: What are you doing here?
Turk: Cross-covering for the day for a buddy of mine in orthopedics.
Carla: Whatever. 36-year-old male, possible dislocated shoulder.
Turk: Great. So, how are you doing?
Mr. Davis: Well, it just got so cold in here, I think the swelling may have gone down. Brr- Ow!
Turk: Yeah, I hope that hurts.

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I owe you an apology. Obviously, I was unclear when I said, "Stay in the MRI room with that patient." It must have sounded like, "Leave and do other things." Let me rephrase it so there'll be no more confusion: Get your ass back down there!

J.D.: Dr. Cox must have my pager on speed dial. He's completely on top of me today.
Elliot: Do you know how much I wish he was on top of me?
J.D.: [laughs] That's naughty.
Elliot: You make me so mad, I might actually scream. Every day you bitch and you bitch about how hard Dr. Cox is on you, and you don't even realize that you're his go-to guy.
J.D.: Oh, come on. You're overreacting.
Elliot: What has he had you do today, hmm?
J.D.: Uh, he had me intubate and extubate Mrs. Pollard, float a Swan on Mr. Kalka, a paracentesis, a radial art line, and then place a transvenous pacemaker for a heart block. Why? What did you do?
Elliot: Oh, uh. Cream, no sugar.
J.D.: He takes his sugar, no cream.
Elliot: [screams]

J.D.: [v.o.] It really feels like there's something going on here. I wonder what she looks like.
[fantasy: as the patient slides out of the MRI machine, it's Jimmie Walker:]
Jimmie Walker: Why am I always in your fantasies? You got a problem, man.

J.D.: What now?
Dr. Cox: Watch the attitude, kid, or I won't let you go to the bonfire with the beach bunnies.

Carla: I know something's wrong.
Turk: Nothing's wrong.
Carla: You always "nothing's wrong", and then you sulk for a week and you finally tell me.
Turk: First of all, you haven't known me long enough for me to "always" be doing anything.
Mr. Davis: Well, I've only known you for ten minutes and you're always hurting me.

Carla: You want to know what she looks like? Did she ask what you look like?
J.D.: No, she can tell I'm handsome. I have a husky voice. "Hello, baby."
Carla: Look into your heart and see how it feels.
J.D.: My heart hates "uggos".
Carla: You know, that's exactly what's wrong with you men. You're all so superficial. You're also so afraid of what you feel. I'm so sick of it.
J.D.: So do you know what she looks like?
Carla: Yeah, I do. But I ain't telling you.
J.D.: Oh, come on. Just tell me. Does she look anything like Jimmie Walker?