J.D.: I can't believe he didn't thank me. You'll thank me when you leave?
Mr. Foster: I don't know. Why are you so needy?
Turk: He keeps a hug schedule with his friends.
J.D.: OK, Turk, looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2:00 spot and penciled in for never. How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.: [v.o.] He's hurting. Hug him. Hug him now.

Janitor: I'm in.
Carla: And we could buy a lot more tickets if we collect money from everyone.
Janitor: I'll start going through their lockers.
Carla: No, I meant asking them.
Janitor: Seems kinda roundabout, but OK.

J.D.: Elliot, would you do me a favor and cover Mr. Foster for me? I have to go to Mr. Sutton's and get the thank-you I deserve.
Carla: You are so obsessing about this.
Turk: It's like the time you were convinced the cafeteria was giving you small waffles. How'd that work out for you?
J.D.: They waffle-ironed my foot. But this is different, buddy. Look, I need a ride.
Turk: Pass.
J.D.: Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed. [Elliot and Carla gasp]
Turk: OK, put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.

Dr. Cox: Good Lord, Bobbo, was that your stomach?
J.D.: [v.o.] And there it was. Hope. Dr. Kelso's inability to deal with hunger was legendary. We were as good as home.
Dr. Kelso: I've heard enough. Let's call it and go to lunch.
Dr. Cox: Just hold on. That is not the way it works, Bobbo. This is important, damn it. You sit back down and get on with it.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, I'm in charge here.
Dr. Cox: Ted, give him your sandwich.
Ted: I suppose I could spare a small corner.
Dr. Kelso: Alright, everyone just stay right where you are and we will be back in, mmm, two minutes.

J.D.: Why ostriches?
Mr. Sutton: They're such majestic creatures, don't you think? And, you know, they're kinda like my children. Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
J.D.: Okay, look, Mr. Sutton, you're wondering why I'm here.
[Turk screams as an ostrich kick flings him through Mr. Sutton's somehow replaced living room window]
Mr. Sutton: There is a door.
J.D.: Man. You OK? Did you try and escape?
Turk: I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
Mr. Sutton: That's Leon. Loves the car rides. Likes to stick his head out the window. And I tell him it's a little too dangerous. He doesn't listen to me.

Carla: You're missing out. I bet there's plenty you could do with a hundred million dollars.
[fantasy: Dr. Cox is watching TV in his apartment as Jordan pounds on the glass box she is trapped inside]
Dr. Cox: Oh, come on. You gotta make that shot.
Jordan: Let me out of here! I will kill you!
Dr. Cox: I'm watching the game.
Jordan: Sweetie, you want to get naughty? Ooh. Ohh. Ahh. Ahh. Come on. Do it. Do it.
[Dr. Cox picks up the "in case of emergency" hammer and gets ready to smash the glass]
Dr. Cox: Eh, I can wait another day. Button up and watch the game.
[reality:]
Dr. Cox: I gotta call my glass guy.

Elliot: Mrs. Brown, I want you to know how sorry I am for kissing your husband. But we are two women who have been wronged and lied to, and the healthiest thing for us to do right now, is just to walk away from each other with our dignity intact. Don't you agree?
Millie: Do you know what I do with whores? I punch them in the face.
Elliot: Bring it, bitch.
[later, Elliot is taped to the side of the hospital with a speech bubble spray-painted on the wall that reads "Hi! I'm a whore!"]

Dr. Kelso: In the end, when Mr. Foster started coughing up blood, the on-call surgeon was stuck in traffic, the nursing staff was busy losing the lottery, his original doctor was thanking a garbage man, and the covering physician was incapacitated. And what was Mr. Foster doing? He was dying in the hands of the interns. How did I do, Dr. Dorian?