[Dr. Cox shakes Jordan in bed]
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, honey. Are you waking up?
Jordan: Why are you in such a hurry?
Dr. Cox: I'm not in any kind a hurry.
Jordan: Did you dress me?
Dr. Cox: Fine. Carla scares me, okay? She may be small, but she has very powerful legs.

Dr. Kelso: Just a club soda, please. I'm driving.
Woman: It's an open bar, cutie.
Dr. Kelso: Give me a bucket of scotch. [gives J.D. his car keys] Sport, take these and keep moving.

J.D.: Yah!
Janitor: How's it goin'?
J.D.: You wore your janitor uniform to a wedding?
Janitor: No, I wasn't invited to the wedding. I just work here on weekends.
J.D.: Who's that?
Janitor: My date. Forks! Frannie, forks! Forks!
J.D.: Are forks where the big money is?
Janitor: Forks and ladles.

J.D.: [v.o.] In the last three days, I convinced Elliot to dump her boyfriend and be with me, then told her I didn't love her. Still, we're good friends, so if I give her some space, eventually everything will be fine. Unfortunately, since Turk's whole family's in town for his wedding, I'm staying in her apartment.
Elliot: We have to go. [rolls J.D. off the couch]
J.D.: Gah! My lips are bleeding! Can you hand me a tissue? [Elliot throws the box at him] Gah.

Marco: Oh, my God. I just figured it out. This is one of those reality shows where our sister tries to convince us that she's gonna marry some obnoxious- Agh!
Margaret Turk: We haven't really had a chance to talk yet. I'm Mama Turk.
Marco: Oh, hey. How ya doing?
Turk: Damn, that looks painful.

Carla: [o.s.] Hey, I really want you guys to get along today.
Elliot: [to J.D.] I hope you die.
Carla: Elliot!
Elliot: After the wedding.
Carla: Thank you!

J.D.: Hide the bride. I found him!.
Carla: Turk, we're heading over to St. John's.
J.D.: Thought you guys were getting married at Holy Trinity?
Carla: St. John's is cheaper.
Turk: Oh, plus the priest there looks like Captain Sulu.
Carla: No, that's the priest at Trinity.
Turk: Oh, baby, I wanted to be married by Sulu.

Carla: Turk, are you coming over with us now or not?
Turk: If I work this shift, I can finagle two extra days on the honeymoon.
J.D.: Ooh, nice use of "finagle."
Turk: Oh, thanks.

Dr. Miller: Don't mind Dr. Turk, here. He's just overly excited because he's getting married this afternoon. I, on the other hand, am the only person in the hospital not to be invited.
Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so... There's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and, well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me.
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch. [Dr. Miller walks away] That's gonna cost me.

Dr. Cox: Jordan, get outta bed. We got a wedding to go to.
Jordan: Perry. Jack is at my mom's, the apartment is empty. It's just you and me. Let's take a nap. We'll sleep through the ceremony, and then go to the reception.
Dr. Cox: Can we at least have sex?
Jordan: Do what you have to. Don't wake me.