Carla: You're going to make her get the DNR? An intern shouldn't have to convince a wife to let her husband die.
J.D.: She's got to learn how to show some compassion. I'm throwing her in at the deep end.
Carla: There's got to be a better way to teach that.
Elmo: Elmo would love to help.
J.D.: Denise, could you come here for a second? You be the patient, and I'll be the doctor.
Elmo: How's this?
J.D.: Don't worry, buddy. I'm going to take care of you.
Elmo: Elmo knows that together, we can get through this.
J.D.: And scene.
Denise: I get it know.
Elmo: Oh, yeah! She gets it, she gets it! Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby, yeah baby! Thank you. [hugs Denise] Yeah.
J.D.: Okay, easy buddy.
Elmo: What, she's your woman?
[reality:]
J.D.: What is Elmo? A seal?

Katie: Guess what? Ed's going to let me take his spot.
Ed: I didn't want to do it anyway. The only reason I signed up was I have this three-way pen, and I wanted to write my name in three different colors.
Turk: Dude, that's why I picked you.
Ed: Looks cool, right?
Turk: It looks so cool.
Elliot: So Katie gets to do it?
Turk: Fine!

J.D.: Mrs. Fremont. Your husband doesn't have a minor infection. It's the cancer. His body is basically shutting down.
Mrs. Fremont: He's dying?
J.D.: I'm sorry.
Mrs. Fremont: No. No. No, he's been doing so well. No. It's not time yet. There must be something that you can do.
J.D.: Well, we can make him comfortable. But, by the end of the night, he won't be able to breath on his own.
Mrs. Fremont: So, you'll put him on a machine.
J.D.: I'm not sure you want to do that.
Mrs. Fremont: Why? Why wouldn't I want to do that? Why wouldn't I want to do anything I can to keep him alive?
J.D.: [v.o.] This was going to be rough on Denise, but I knew it was something she had to get through to become a more compassionate doctor.
Denise: Look, here's the deal. If you make us intubate him, we're probably also going to have to shove a catheter in his lungs. And that sort of thing usually leads to an infection and antibiotics and then, before you know it, his kidneys are toast. So, even with all our poking and prodding, we're still not going to slow down his cancer. So, you'll finally sign the DNR. But, by then, he would have suffered way more than he needed to, because you were just too selfish to let him go.
J.D.: The real Jo never would have done that.

Elliot: Hey, skank!
Katie: What up, skank?
Elliot: It's all good, skank! We like to call each other "skank".
Turk: Okay, I know I was a little bit sexist earlier. But, don't you also think Katie might have been playing you a little so she could get ahead?
Elliot: Turk, she wasn't even going to sign up to help you with your stupid paper until I told her to.
Turk: That's funny, because I went back and checked. And, um, Katie was the first intern to sign the sheet. See.
It's her name right there. Above Ed's.
Elliot: Skank!

Dr. Cox: Zwa!
Ed: You zwa'd the hell out of me, Dr. Cox. It's like you promised.
Dr. Cox: See, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my life. But trust me, I've never seen an intern with the time to just hang out in a coffee shop. And it wasn't until you gave up that research paper, that I finally realized why I hate you. You're lazy.
Ed: Am I not doing as well as the other interns?
Dr. Cox: You are doing better than most.
Ed: I don't know, I'm fine with better than most. But if stops being the case, let me know.
Dr. Cox: Believe me, I will.
Ed: Thanks, Dr. C.

Mrs. Fremont: I always knew this day would come. How can I still not be ready?
J.D.: Nobody ever is.
Mrs. Fremont: What should I do know?
J.D.: You should go pick up your son. We'll do our best to wake him up so you two can say goodbye.
Mrs. Fremont: Ok.

J.D.: I think I see what the problem is. You have a hand inside of you.
Telly Monster: That explains so many things.
[reality:]
J.D.: Dude, been having fantasies about Muppets all day too?
Turk: No, I'm straight.
J.D.: That's just uncalled-for.