Jill Tracy: How weird is it that we're both here two days in a row? I was thinking that there was, like, a 15% chance that the guy who blew me off yesterday just got his days wrong and would be waiting here with roses. Is that sad?
J.D.: It's not, not sad.
Jill Tracy: Plus, I had the whole day free. My shrink couldn't make our appointment. He found his third wife in bed with his second wife and downed an entire bottle of his bulimic daughter's Prozac. So now he's back in the hospital.
J.D.: That's an awesome story, Jill.
Jill Tracy: It's true.

Jill Tracy: Oh, I wish I could stay home and read sometimes, but my job, it's like, you know? And with the married-by-the-millennium thing still hanging over my head, I go on like, 1,000 blind dates. And then there's all my friends who, like, always need something. And there's me who, like, never wants to let anyone down, you know, ever. With so many balls in the air, sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. As soon as I leave, I know I'm going right back to that mess. Oh, my God, I'm practically crying. How pathetic is that?
J.D.: [v.o.] Around here, you make big choices every day.
Elliot: Actually, I came down here to tell you we're gonna keep you in here for the weekend, just to get some rest.

Dr. Cox: What brings Ms. Tracy to us?
J.D.: Oh, uh, her landlord found her passed out on her floor.
Jill Tracy: Yeah, lucky me, I couldn't pay my rent this month.
J.D.: [v.o.] A recent study found that doctors spend an average of fifteen seconds listening to a patient. It sounds insensitive, but the truth is it's all the time you need.
Dr. Cox: So, how you feel?
Jill Tracy: Awesome!
Dr. Cox: Ms. Tracy.
Jill Tracy: Headachy, nauseous, and embarrassed that my landlord saw me in my granny panties.
Dr. Cox: Oh, dear. We're gonna run some tests and figure this out.
Jill Tracy: I'll be here.

Dr. Cox: Boy, oh boy, that's some rock. When, uh, when's the big day?
Jill Tracy: Oh, me? No, no, never. My fiance dumped me. I'm just noticing how beautiful his mother's ring is. You know, compared to the fake one I sent back to him. Oops!
J.D.: Ms. Tracy, we found some organophosphates in your system. Have you had any recent exposure to pesticides?
Jill Tracy: Pesticides? No, I don't have any pest problems.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, that must be so nice.
J.D.: They're just feelings, they'll heal.
Dr. Cox: Don't worry. We're on top of this.
Jill Tracy: Oh... Bye.

Dr. Cox: Well, we sent some haz-mat guys over to your apartment, but they said there were no signs of pesticides.
J.D.: They also said you mixed art deco with Indonesian antiques. I think that is so daring!
Jill Tracy: Aw.
Dr. Cox: Reel it in, Queer Eye.
Jill Tracy: Thanks, guys. Honestly, I can't remember the last time anyone was this nice to me.
J.D.: Well, you know. We gotta go.

Jill Tracy: Always fun to be in the bathroom listening to people talk so clearly, you're sure they just heard you pee. You did, didn't you?
J.D.: You start and stop a lot.
Dr. Cox: Lovely. Here. Uh, actually there's great news, uh, Ms. Tracy: We're sending you home. Although, I sure wish we could have figured out how that stuff got introduced into your system to begin with. But sometimes in medicine you have to just chalk it up to life's great mysteries, like crop circles or this gal's Adam's apple.
J.D.: I'm a girl, that's original.
Jill Tracy: Hey, you guys, I just want to say, if I don't see you again, thanks and take care.
Dr. Cox: You be well, darlin'. I'll see you next time.
J.D.: Wanna hear a great letter?
Jill Tracy: No.