Denise Mahoney Quotes Page 2 of 10
Quote from My Absence
Dr. Cox: Hello. If it's all right with everyone, I'd like to begin this morning's rounds with a joke. Denise.
Denise: Mm, I don't really have one.
Dr. Cox: No, I meant that you were the joke.
Denise: Oh. Good one.
Dr. Cox: Thanks. I thought of it this morning while I was watching you try to jam a catheter Into Mr. Hazleton.
Denise: Yeah, he was a screamer.
Quote from My Full Moon
Derek: Wait, wait. Why is this happening?
Denise: That whole pathetic, no self-esteem thing you have going on right now, I'm really vibing that. That's why I used to date fat guys.
Derek: You know, the reason why I work my body so much now is cause I was kind of a heavy kid.
Denise: How heavy?
Derek: 260.
Denise: Oh, God. [kisses Derek]
Quote from My Chief Concern
Denise: I don't know why I keep jumping into bed with him. My confidence is shot from screwing up that spinal tap last week, and then yesterday, I misdiagnosed an ectopic pregnancy. I don't know. Maybe I wanted to do something I knew I could do right, like banging a dude. I'm a giant ho-bag.
Elliot: No, no, you are not! So, is Derek a good guy?
Denise: Derek? I thought it was "Eric".
Quote from Our First Day of School
Denise: Okay. I hope everyone enjoyed orientation with Dr. Cox. I'm Dr. Mahoney, your student advisor. Here's some crappy pizza. Commence feeding.
Quote from Our First Day of School
Denise: I guess I should answer any annoying questions you all have. Yeah, monkey nuts.
Lucy: Uh, I just wanted to thank you, on behalf of all of us, for getting us pizza.
Lucy: [v.o.] There. Smelling incident fixed.
Denise: Yeah, they gave me money to do it, along with free room and board to attend to your emotional needs. Speaking of which, little administrative thing. If you're going to kill yourself - I'm looking at you, sad eyes - Do it off campus, 'cause it is a butt-load of paperwork.
Quote from Our Role Models
Lucy: You want me to help Ryan through his mom's death?
Denise: It'll only be a few months. A year, tops. Come on. It'll be fun. It'll be like having a really sad pen pal.
Lucy: What are you doing? You should help him.
Denise: Listen up, Seabiscuit. Th isn't my wheelhouse, okay? It's taken me a long time to get to a point that I can be there emotionally for a patient. You know how I do it? Every second that they're here, I remind myself that once they leave this hospital, either on their own or in a box, they're no longer my problem anymore. Out the door, out of my head. It's the only way it works for me.
Quote from Our New Girl-Bro
Denise: Great effort in the sack last night. Just remember, when I say, "I hate you. Don't touch me," It's not about you. It's about all men.
Drew: Cool.
Quote from Our Stuff Gets Reals
Denise: Do I still have to hang out with you as your confidant even though there's not a chance in hell you're gonna listen to anything I say?
Dr. Cox: Yes.
Denise: You know, just because one of those old, married people croaked doesn't mean you or Jordan are gonna die.
Dr. Cox: I shouldn't have brought the will to the hospital. It was a rookie mistake. I mean, around here, you just can't let your work and your personal life overlap.
Denise: Yeah, that was always Ally McBeal's problem, too. It's so hard being a working woman in the mid '90s.
Quote from My Jerks
J.D.: Ed, stop texting!
Ed: I'm not texting. I'm looking at photos of Sienna Miller's breasts. There's a difference.
J.D.: Okay, well, do that more later. When we're together. Jo, you were saying?
Denise: I'm guessing Mrs. Gallagher probably has cholecy-
Katie: Cholecystis. She has cholecystis.
Denise: I'm gonna cut your throat.
Quote from My ABC's
Denise: You called me Jo?
J.D.: You don't like that as a new nickname?
Denise: Just a little butch. I like banging dudes, so...
J.D.: I've heard that's nice.
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