Turk: What are you doing?
J.D.: I know, I know. It's just that Cox is draping himself over that kid like a cheap hussy. And then I have to find you and Perry canoodling in that sports-themed tavern pretending you like beer.
Turk: Well, we're not pretending. We actually like beer.
J.D.: Oh, stop it, Turk. It's me. I just feel like I'm being replaced.
Turk: That'll never happen. Do you wanna know why?
J.D.: Tell me this instant.
Turk: Because you're John "Damn" Dorian.
J.D.: You're right. I am John "Damn" Dorian.
Turk: You John "Damn" right, you are! Now gimme a chest bump.
J.D.: Yeah, but don't flex 'cause it'll knock the wind out of me. See? Can't breathe.