Quote from Ted in Their Story
Ted: Sir, they aren't asking for much and the little things can make a big difference. I know I'd be a lot happier with some extra cash, or friends, or hair. Dr. Kelso: How would your life be any different, if you had hair? [fantasy: Ted, wearing a bright '70s-style suit, has a full head of hair as two women hang on to him while they walk down the shampoo aisle at a rug store:] Ted: [kissing] Don't worry baby, you'll get your turn. Woman: Which conditioner are you going to buy? Ted: Too many choices! [In frustration, Ted pushes over the conditioner shelves before noticing an elderly woman in the next aisle] Ted: Mom? No! Why do I have hair? Why? Why do I have hair? Why? [reality:] Ted: I wonder if they'd still do me after I buried mom?