Ted: What's going on?
Ted: [v.o.] Hey, maybe it's the surprise party you've been waiting for your whole life. Just, play it cool, Teddy-boy.
Ted: The party man is here.
Dr. Kelso: It's not a surprise party, Ted. It'll never be. Nurse Espinosa and her chiquita nursitas are here because they want more dinero.
Ted: [v.o.] Dr. Kelso and his racism.