Elliot: Guys, I think I figured out what happened to Brian. This letter from the army says his injuries are too severe to let him back into service.
Carla: The army is his life.
Elliot: He didn't take too many pills by accident. He was trying to commit suicide.
J.D.: We can't discharge him. We gotta get him one of the shrinks.
Dr. Cox: The only way we can make him stay here is if he admits that he did it.
Brian: Yeah, well, I didn't do it. It's like you said earlier. I must have mixed up my prescriptions and taken too many of one.
Turk: How long have you been awake?
Brian: Long enough to know that you need to fart. And Carla is not funny, and J.D.'s imitation of a black guy is really racist.
J.D.: He be trippin'.