Quote from Janitor in My Therapeutic Month
Janitor: Hey! Looks like I caught you with my renewed facial hair, huh? J.D.: Oh, God! Janitor: Thank you. I just found out that my great-great-great-grandfather was mutton chop enthusiast Ambrose Burnsides. I'm bringing back the look to honor his memory. J.D.: It looks like tiny hamsters died all over your face. Janitor: That happened once, but no. This is just how I grow facial hair. It starts out patchy, then it gloriously erupts. You'll see. When this fills in, this look's gonna spread like wildfire. [later: week 2, the Janitor has full-on sideburns. Snoop Dog intern has copied the look:] Janitor: Read 'em and weep.