Dr. Kelso: Hiya, my name is Bob Kelso and I like whores. Now, why don't I introduce myself like that? Because there is a time and a place for the truth. Now, you take Dorian's intern, Brandon, for example. He told his patient that it was the first time he was performing a spinal tap. And what did the patient do, doctor?
J.D.: Ah, well, uh, she- she started to hyperventilate a-a-and then she reached for a hit of what she thought was an oxygen tank. It turned to be a helium container from pediatrics, then she screamed, [high-pitched] "I'll kill you bitches!" Which, frankly, we all thought was hilarious.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, and indeed it was. But you know what wasn't? When she ran for the door, tripped, and fell, and broke her femur. Now she's suing the hospital. And since Ted is our lawyer, what's going to happen?
Ted: Girlfriend's gonna get paid!