Dr. Cox: I don't care if you don't like green. Jello is jello. Laverne, if I accidentally backed my car over Barbie for sticking me with the world most annoying patient, what do you think your boy Jesus would do?
Nurse Roberts: Your wife is on the phone.
Dr. Cox: He is not a merciful god, is he? [covers phone] Just tell her I'm still working, I have no idea what time I'm going to get off, and just go ahead and eat the entire mattress. I mean, for the love of God! I spend the entire day with patients and the entire night with her. I need a hide-out.
Janitor: You're telling me. I've got this new land lady, boozy old broad, keeps showing up at my door in an open robe and a bottle of gin. I don't want to go home.
Nurse Roberts: Can you tell Dr. Kelso that Mr. Worthington's family transferred him from the luxury suite to a hospice, please?