J.D.: Mrs. Wilk, I remember how much you like basketball, so I got you a DVD of the NBA's Greatest Centers of All Time signed by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Mrs. Wilk: Oh, J.D., this is so sweet!
J.D.: [v.o.] Winner!
Keith: My gift is in the same vein.
J.D.: Oh, is it, Keith?
Keith: Mr. Abdul-Jabbar is on my dad's flag football team.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hi, Patricia.
Mrs. Wilk: Oh!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: That's not my signature. Did you sign this? It's illegal.
J.D.: OK. Back to the psych ward, Mr. Rosenberg. Crazy.