J.D.: Who do you think you're talking to? You think you've been the world's greatest husband? Please. I was there when you were flirting with your ex-girlfriend and neglected to tell her you were married. I was there when you tried to hook up with that waitress the day before you got engaged. And I was definitely there when you hooked up with that nasty-ass stripper at Boobies, Boobies, Boobies.
Turk: That wasn't me. That was you.
J.D.: I know, but I told her my name was Turk. Look, the point is, think of the millions of times you've chosen not to hang out with your wife 'cause you were trying to hang out with me. You know, maybe it's time you started acting like a real husband instead of acting like some sort of crazy cowboy.
Turk: A cowboy?
J.D.: I don't know. It just came to me. You know I'm right, Turk.