Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend I can give you tips on intercourse.
Carla: I got one for you. Stop calling it that.
Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a fear of intimacy, but I think it's because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
Carla: That poor shrink.