J.D.: [v.o.] At least I can go home now. Maybe it's because Christmas is a hard time for people, maybe it's because too many families get together, but statistically Christmas Eve, it's one of the worst nights of the year to be on call.
Singers: [singing] On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a drunk who drove into a tree. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two shattered sculls, and a drunk who drove into a tree. Twelve beaten children, eleven drive-by shootings, ten frozen homeless, nine amputations, eight burn victims, seven strangled shoppers, six random knifings, five suicides, four beaten wives, three old dears, two shattered sculls, and a drunk who drove into a tree.