Turk: Sir, we are being professional. We, we were coming over here just now to check out this booth right here with the crapper.
Salesman: Oh, it's, it's much more than that. If a patient has a bowel movement in it, it immediately gives the diagnosis. We call it the Dr. Toilet.
[fantasy:]
J.D.: Mr. Mimov, I wanted a second opinion, so I've called in my colleague Dr. Toilet.
Dr. Toilet: I agree. The best course of action is dialysis.
J.D.: Dr. Toilet, I'm sorry about the other day, uh, I had just had my morning coffee and a bran muffin. It was kind of an emergency situation. I know you were napping, but it was an accident.
Dr. Toilet: An accident? Dr. Dorian, there are 48 other toilets in this hospital. I'm the only one that's a doctor, and yet you came into my office and you sat on me. Didn't you hear me screaming to get off?
J;Roger, in my defense those sounds were very muffled. I thought they were coming from me!
Dr. Toilet: You know what, John? Let's just drop it and move on.
[later in Dr. Toilet's office:]
Dr. Toilet: Janine, hold my calls. I'm gonna take a nap.
Janine: [on phone] Sure thing, Dr. Toilet.
[J.D. goes into Dr. Toilet's office with a newspaper]
[reality:]
J.D.: I wouldn't be able to help myself.