Jordan: I don't know why I messed with your head.
Elliot: [wakes up] Di- Di- Did you start talking? 'cause I should brush my teeth.
Jordan: At first I thought, I was just being mean, 'cause you know I enjoy the misery of others.
Elliot: It's not really a secret.
Jordan: Whenever I see someone in love, I just lose it and turn into an awful person.
Elliot: Give yourself a break, Jordan. Your parents were really mean to you.
Jordan: Here's the big secret: they weren't. They were actually very supportive. I don't know how this happened. Look, Elliot, I'm a woman in her very, very, very, late 30s, who has problems opening herself up to love. I hate being vulnerable. I still play mind games, Hell, to make Perry feel inadequate, sometimes I fake not having orgasms.
Elliot: Huh.
Jordan: The point is if you wanna be happy, you should never ever listen to me.
Elliot: You maybe also wanna say you're sorry?
Jordan: I do not.